This weekend, I was part of a pre-wedding ceremony held at one of my relative home. His younger brother was getting married and the bride family came at his place for a formal aliance. This is a process done to make sure that.the boy is now been booked for wedding and no other party will be entertained for mareiage. This is common process in this region where arranged marriage is a top priority. The community people as well as the bride family memeber than have a gala celebrstion through fish meals and sweets. Even I attended such functuon first time that made me learn new things about the ceremony. In between the entire function I was chatting with an old person and his words really made me wonder what is the need of such gala arranagmemnt just for an marriage alliance.
The old fellow who is supposed to boy uncle was very particular about the extra expenses these little function is incurring and how the boy family wanted to showcase their superiority in the community. Such function used to be a closed door event earlier. He pinpointed that during his time , such function were done within the room between the boy parent and girl parent. There was no need to have a gala event like this. It was supposed to be a family togetherness that fixes the alliances on mutual understanding. He highlighted that in his time, only the girls parent visit to the boy place and offer a ring or hand over certain amount as a blessing to the boy of their family making sure the marriage is settled. They fixes a date for marriage and thats it. Those were the time when everything was done over a cup of tea and snack but with the passage of team, such events has turned into a mini social gathering with over 100 to 150 atendee ready to believe part of such event.
Such event is now making a little extra home in the pocket. And everything was done to show the community about their ability to host a party. The old man keep on putting emphasis tha there was no need for such big arrangement. But just to show off their worth in the society everyone is doing this event in the best way they could afford. This ceremony is more of a "showoff" now rather than a marriage alliance. His words are quite true as people have changed their approach a lot. They are more eager to show their prowess and power in the society rather than making their best effort count.
Today I again went to his home to know about the rest of the marriage process. Especially the dates and other rituals. It was strange to knew that the bride family are not welcoming the baraat so they are arranging everything in a temple. But the boy wanted to live upto their reputation in the community wanted to throw another lavish party during the engagement ceremony. Adding more expenses to their budget. In this fast paced lifestyle, showing off can be a way to gain status in the eyes of peers and society, which may lead to better treatment, social connections, or even marriage prospects. This is why the boy family wanted to go out in full to make this wedding a gala event. On the other hand, the bride family knowing their limitation wanted to be content with minimal celebration. I think the bride famiky are quite right in their approach. As a bigger event outside their limit may lead to extra burden. But the people who wanted to show off will make things possible at any cost.
A competitive culture can drive people to constantly "market" themselves and prove their worth. Showing off can be a way to boost one's self-image, feel more in control, or even make others feel jealous. This behavior can be influenced by a culture that prioritizes external achievements and material possessions, which can lead to an unending cycle of competition. This approach may give happiness for limited period of time but in the longer run such event may cause serious problem. It is always good to be content rather than swayed away with the showing off.
In good faith - Peace!!
