Today, I was on leave so after getting over my household chores, I visited my neighbors place and my younger brother clicked some pictures of me, while I was posing.
When we were done, I asked my brother to share those with me but due to some technical difficulties he couldn't, I went on and said a statement which was huge..
**"Share me the photos quickly as nowadays I just smile for pictures"****
This statement in elaborated sense means, I've been sad from past 2 months now, sad in the ultimate sense, as it's not over some work or materialistic thing or any person, it's just me holding down myself.
My brain in normal days feels like pressure cooker, ready to blast, I now don't get upset over people, it's too small to damn care. Nothing is exciting me, I'm in shallow grave just ready to get over with this life.
My highest life expectancy for me just few years so that I could help settle my loved ones financially, so that they don't need me.
My crave for learning has vanished, it doesn't feel worth it. I don't wish to nurture any relationship just want to move along so that they won't have a bad memory of me.
I'm a analyzer, I think and think about every thing about 100 times to look for any possible solution, right now I've none for me to grow, just to get over this miserable life. No, this doesn't mean I don't have a perfect life, I do. I'm in a financially stable career with two lovely dogs, and a loving family. I like studying and have also enrolled myself into a program that's a lifetime supply of knowledge.
Nothing is below perfect still couldn't excite me to hold on to this once in gazillion years opportunity of living.
Maybe in another lifetime I'll be able to grow old and see the ray of sunshine on my wrinkled face.
