I was watching how my daughter was sitting today as she was doing some arts and crafts, and it was funny to see her feet like this. Which is the same way she has sat since she could sit on her knees. And while her feet are a bit bigger, she still has cute toes.
Parents are weird.
Though, I don't think my parents were like I am with Smallsteps - perhaps that is why I am the way I am. It is a reaction to their parenting, rather than following the example of it. It is not that they were bad parents, but I don't believe they were overly present parents - though with more children than I have to contend with, it might have been all they could do - or thought they could do.
Yes, we are always doing the best we can in the moment, as that is the only option there is. But, this doesn't mean we can't reflect on what we have done and then take actions to improve on them. After all, we can all learn something, so why is it that we have the excuse that "this is the way I was raised", as if that means that we are unable to break the patterns of our childhood.
Childhood sucks. We learn so much during that time at such a rapid pace, but let's face it, most of what we learn is several degrees from right and often, outright wrong.
That is a nice end to that sentence. Read it a couple times.
We grow up learning from our parents, teachers, peers and experiences, but we end up needing to spend the next decades trying to unlearn all the crap and replace it with what is better. However, as I have said since I was a teen, knowing isn't doing. Too many people these days think that their Googled knowledge holds value, even though they have no direct experience with getting that knowledge whatsoever.
It is the journey, not the destination.
Sure, it is great to have the right information upfront, but since as a species we aren't very good at learning from other's mistakes, why the hell do we think we are good at learning from other's successes? Even when we are given the best conceivable advice, we tend not to follow it, right?
Just think about if we had followed all the good advice we had been given through life and not "done what we wanted" - would we be better off? Most likely. However, would we feel like our life was our own?
I think this is an interesting question, where for example, I have several friends throughout my life whose parents built successful businesses. But, very few of them took the business over, instead choosing to *"blaze their own path" and largely not becoming as successful as their parents, with some struggling heavily. All they needed to do was to learn the ropes and then when the time came, take it over, doing much the same and they would have been wealthy, with a business that largely ran itself.
Living the dream.
But this isn't enough for us, is it? We want to "live our own life" and make our own mistakes. So, we do, but even then, we don't seem to learn much from our mistakes and we keep banging our head against the wall, over and over and over. Or new mistakes, even though we have access to proven patterns that we know will work...
Idiots.
We are, aren't we?
Human behavior is fascinating though and it would be boring if we were clever enough to do the right thing every time. Wouldn't it be dull to live a perfect life?
Whatever that means.
Life is short and since I believe we only get one life to live, we may as well make the most of it and, not worry too much if it gets a bit messy here and there. After all, just like we can't take money or toys with us, we also can't take our reputation, failures or disappointments. No one seems to talk about that, do they?
They talk about how useless it is to be successful, but in the next breath, talk about how important it is to be good. Just in case heaven exists I guess. But, just imagine getting up to the pearly gates after leading a "good life" and finding out, that you didn't make enough money in life to get over the threshold.
Would you be disappointed? Would you feel lied to?
But, people want something to believe in, to make their lives feel like it has meaning. I think this is getting harder these days and is likely going to get harder still, as less people have children. Kids bring a kind of automatic meaning to life, which is why so many people feel that they mature a lot more after they have kids, and become less selfish. It gives a purpose outside of oneself, responsibility.
I don't think people have to have kids to feel purpose and meaning, but I think a lot of people seem to struggle to find something that they can commit to long term, something that they really feel value in - which is why people subscribe to the changing landscape of whatever social movement is in trend at the moment. No one fights their whole lives for anything these days.
Except maybe parents.
I am not saying all parents.
But perhaps "most" parents. They might not even do a good job of it, and still they feel that sense of purpose to do what is best for their kids, and the disappointment in themselves when they recognize, they failed, or could have done better,
if only I had....
Can't go back. Only forward.
And if I want to be better tomorrow, I have to take actions to be better now. Make some decision, however small, to improve future history. I don't know what that will be right now, but it has to be something. Can't keep putting improvement off for tomorrow, because tomorrow is only a day away,
but tomorrow never arrives.
Which makes "See you tomorrow" a very strange saying.
But, that is where I will leave it today.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]