If it doesn't inspire and support you to make practical changes to improve yourself to be the kind of person you want to be, it isn't helping you.
That is the last line from my last article. And I was thinking about it in terms of my own consumer behaviours and the balance between entertainment and self-improvement. In some cases, it can actually be both, but I predict that most of our entertainment doesn't actually do much to help has toward being the kind of person we want to be. Unless, the kind of person we want to be, is the kind who doom scrolls largely useless content in order to get a quick dopamine hit, whilst wasting time.
If that is the case, we are on point.
"Self-improvement" has become an industry over the last few decades, with billions of dollars being spent on the books, and courses and gyms and whatever else. However, that is not the type of self-improvement I am talking about, though depending on what a person is trying to improve, it is definitely possible to get support through those kinds of channels. As I have experienced myself and observed in others, the majority of the self-improvement industry is not actually making much difference and offering little more than a bandaid of motivation and a feeling of being on the right track, despite most people not improving themselves.
Going back to that definition of "improvement" in the other article, it is about adding value to what already exists, which in this case, is our self. So, if we are improving ourselves, that means we are making ourselves more valuable, which begs the question, what is the value of the improvement? And this is tough to answer, because there are many ways to consider value that lay outside of the measurable numbers, even though that is what we generally consider when thinking about profit.
Who profits?
If someone learns how to manage their emotions, think clearly and consider the circumstances before making a decision, pr performing an action, this is valuable. However, even though this is self-improvement, the value isn't constrained to the individual, as it has compounding effects on others. A parent who is able to think clearly and make well-considered actions, is going to benefit the child, the family, the community, the various colleagues and acquaintances and so on. This means that the value of every action, gets multiplied down the various networks to bring additional value to others, even if they were never directly interacting with the initial person.
Actions have a ripple effect.
But perhaps, staying still as a human isn't a net-zero position at all, since each of us take up resources and have effects on those around us. Maybe, in a world where many of us value personal desire fulfilment in the moment, even if that means sitting in front of a screen doing nothing, we are a net-cost on society. Not because we aren't adding value to others, but because we are taking value in order to stand stagnate.
You know those people who you can be around and feel supercharged after, because for whatever reason, they just seem to inspire you, or put you in a good mood with a smile on your face, just from being around them? That is not the norm for most of us, as the majority do not do that for others. Instead, we are far more likely to either be neutral or negative in terms of impact on others. People don't walk away with a smile feeling good, and then are nice to the waiter at the restaurant, in a pay it forward kind of way. Most walk away feeling the same, acting the same, doing the same as they would have done, even if they didn't meet us.
And what that also means, is that we walk away from most people, unaffected by their presence. They haven't added value to us, or we didn't take away the potential value of the situation. Whatever it is, we keep on doing, what we would have done anyway.
And it is this that I think about in terms of the content we are consuming, the people we surround ourselves with and the way we walk through the world, consciously unaffected by our environment. Of course, we are still influenced in subtle ways that will gently nudge us in the direction of the path of least resistance. But we aren't generally learning from our experience to the point that we become aware of the possibility to take another step in the direction of the person we want to be, and taking that step.
Improvement comes in many forms and there are many things that an individual can value, that another might not. Yet, if as an individual, we were to define the "kind of person I want to be", it would give a pretty clear direction and a list of tasks to make that journey. If anything on that list is something is unwilling to do, then it is impossible for them to be that kind of person, and they would have to adjust. If you want to be a swimmer but don't want to get into the water, you can't be a swimmer.
It is the same for everything.
I think the benefit of working this out and then working toward making it happen, is that it narrows our focus down, shutting out a lot of noise, and other options. I think especially now, where we have access to so much and consume so much, it is easy to want far more than we can ever obtain, and in so doing, end up being scattered and disorganised, unfocused and spread too thin, accomplishing very little. Our personal "profit" is diminished, because we are putting our capital energy into too many things, without enough to make a significant difference in our lives, or those of others.
I'm guilty of this.
I need more focus. More attention paid, on fewer things in my life. And this is hard in an environment that has been incentivised by drawing our attention to what doesn't really matter. Just think of the majority of things you pay for, that someone is profiting from selling, and realise that the profit comes from somewhere - You. Not just the money, but your attention in that show, that screen, that platform, that whatever it is, is profiting them, because you are spending your time performing the actions they want you to perform.
Are they really the actions you want to perform?
From a desire perspective, yes. From a self-improvement perspective, probably not. So in order to make them a profit, you have to give up adding value to yourself, and making a profit for yourself, your family, your community. I don't think most people think about the time the spend in this way, even though they know they might be "wasting" time. But it isn't a waste, is it? When I waste my time with non-value-adding content, it is only a waste for me, my family, and my community. For the people pushing the content, the platform and their shareholders, my time is not wasted, because they are turning a profit from my behaviour. I am being milked of value potential, shifting it from local pockets, into conglomerate shareholders.
Is that the kind of person I want to be?
And when eight billion people are doing it, the volume of value that is being transferred from us, to the very few, is enormous. But, because we aren't really paying attention to even our own behaviours and impacts, it feels to us like our behaviours are harmless. It is like a smoker throwing away their butt - what harm can be done? Well, the estimate is 4.5 trillion cigarette butts are littered (not just smoked) annually, and that is enough to fill up Central Park in New York.
The cost of our behaviours, add up.
What will you do to increase your personal value?
Taraz
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