Everyone is a little bit sick around here at the moment, though Smallsteps is now almost recovered. My wife has been feeling it the most, but she will head away again to Helsinki for the final Presidential count tomorrow night. It is likely to be a pretty close contest, but currently, the candidate she backs is probably in a slight lead, according to the pollsters.
I don't care for politics.
Yet care or don't care, as we are still governed, we are pretty much all affected in some way by the outcomes of these decisions. However, I also believe that while we are affected, there is little we can do to affect our world, and we are better off spending the majority of our attention on the things that are win our control and sphere of influence. We have essentially been conditioned to put the majority of our "care" into an external view, discussing things that we are unable to affect much, while neglecting the things that we are. For instance, talking with a psychologist yesterday, I was saying to her how it is crazy that the aspects that take up most of our energy, are taboo to discuss.
Sex. Money. Power.
Think about how often you think about those three things, and the things that are related to those in some way. Yet, how often do you openly discuss them? Most probably, much of your discussion is like mine, where it is rather mundane, daily grind kind of talk - Organizing schedules, getting bills paid, and various events that don't necessarily add that much value to our lives, but have to be considered. Yet, we are also surrounded by people who like us, have more important things on their mind, but are unwilling to openly discuss them.
Fear of judgement?
I feel that money is probably the lowest hanging fruit to start with, because it is something that can be discussed with some level of process involved, and it is somewhat external to us. But, it also impacts on the other two in many ways, as it affects our opportunities. However, talk to anyone about money, and there are very few who don't take it personally, who aren't emotional over it. Even the people who say they don't care about money, get emotional in some way talking about it and often, their lack of care, would be better described as a lack of understanding.
I remember a discussion with a friend who heads up finance at a pharmaceutical, so as you can imagine, is pretty "money literate". He was having a conversation about the economy with some of his wife's friends, who are far more "blue collar" in their jobs, and they were talking about investments and how the company owners shaft normal people to increase profits. All true. However, what they didn't seem to realize, is that they themselves are those very owners. Even though they know that they have retirement funds, they don't seem to understand how those funds make their money grow, which is by investing into companies that drive for profit. The better their retirement fund does, the more people that were likely screwed over in some way.
These people were very upset at my friend.
They don't care about money enough to even learn about what their own money is doing, yet they are very emotional when talking about it. This is common. And it is the same for the sex and power discussions too, which actually go hand in hand. People normally think about power being power over others, but that is not actually what most people should be looking at in my opinion. Instead, they should be looking at power over themselves, self-control, emotional balance, skill development, mental strength, resilience, and a million other aspects within their control, but it is too personal for many to openly discuss.
But, instead of working on ourselves, having conversations with people like us, about topics where we likely have overlap, we push the discussions into the impersonal areas - politics, and social movements. Look at the conversations around "weight" and how emotional people get about how society discusses the topic. But, if people put as much effort into improving their personal condition as they do in complaining about how others portray them, perhaps they would have a stronger sense of self, more control, and actually love themselves. A picture on a magazine cover doesn't represent me, and I don't expect it to.
Nor need it to.
The weight of that person, their looks, whether they are photoshopped, or take Ozempic, or a million other things about them, don't concern me at all. I don't have to be influenced, no one is forcing me to buy the magazine, no one is making me eat junk food. If we spent a little bit more time developing our own personal power, perhaps we wouldn't spend our lives being triggered by the external world.
Another emotional discussion, right?
And when it comes to sex, what are we actually discussing? Is it the physical act, the ideals, the human needs for intimacy, the desire that we have to be known to others, to be part of a community, a society and to feel relevant? What does the public discourse look like when we discuss these things, and what does it look like when we talk about one of the most impactful things on our lives? Do we openly discuss with friends?
Highly unlikely.
Most likely, we only scratch the surface of the discussions we need to have, because we fear being judged for our views, our opinions, our preferences. We fear that we are too different, that it will lead to us being ridiculed, shamed or missing out on opportunities. And likely, we are right to fear because these aspects of our lives are used against us - they are a control mechanism. Discussing them openly disempowers them, takes away their ability to have power of us. Which is why they were made taboo in the first place.
We have been silenced from the discussions that matter.
While people argue about freedom of speech on Twitter.
Taraz
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