I have spent most of the day, just sitting around, doing very little - which is a bit of a change for me from most days - but I think it has been welcome. I am very far from 100% but I think that I am over the hump and on the mend, which is good. I just hope that it isn't like the last time I was ill, where it cycled for about two weeks where one day I was okay, the next I felt like crap again.
I was talking to my wife the other day about how we seem to keep putting things on hold, waiting for better to do things. Waiting for more time, or when we are healthier, or when there is less going on, a some extra money - waiting. It reminded me of the "Waiting Place" in The Places You Will Go, by Dr Seuss, where people are just sitting around, waiting for what they want to come to them.
Am I doing the same?
Often I feel like I am, where it seems like I am biding my time, waiting for better conditions to go after what I want, rather than making the moves now. Don't get me wrong though, I am not passive, but I question more whether I am active enough. One of the things that keeps me writing each day is that no matter how bad I might feel, I will look to get my thoughts out, to get an understanding of what is going on in my head in somewhat "real time", to see if there is something I can learn, something worth sharing. While not everything is a greatest hit or literary gold, I generally find something of value, tucked away.
How does it feel, to feel valueless?
This is a thought I keep returning to, as we as a society disconnect from each other, become more selfish, look out for our needs, but feel no obligation to be careful with the needs of others. I feel that this disconnection is leading us into being increasingly disposable to each other, and that eventually results in us being irrelevant to each other, unnecessary, and unvalued. We talk about how companies don't care about the humanity of their employees and treat them as material resources, but are we treating each other any differently?
I don't think so.
At least, in practice. In belief, we seem to think that we are good people, but if our behaviors don't align with that belief system, are we? I hear parents talk about how important it is to spend time with their children, yet they are not present during that time. People talking about how much they love their partners, yet they are not interested in even listening to the other's needs. We want a strong community, but even at the personal level, our habits do not support a strong family.
Perhaps it is just the illness speaking.
It could be that, but I have been observing people for a very long time and I have noted these changes happening for decades. Subtle things at first, but they are becoming more pronounced, and more obvious. Disillusioned and desperate people, falling into avoidance, depression, and violence. Inflicting pain onto others, justified because they have come to believe that their feelings should be shown, and all they feel is suffering. They all have a reason as to why they are entitled to hurt others, an excuse.
Entitlement - it is in plague proportions.
What do you think we have the right to? What human rights are granted us by nature? What about by society? What conditions are we building for our society, culture, children, future?
At what point is it time for better?
Should we keep waiting?
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]