"You are so predictable."
That sentence is often said negatively as if being predicatable is undesirable and must be avoided.
That may be the case on specific occasions, but to me, being predictable is one of the best qualities one can have.
That doesn't mean one should not be spontaneous and a source of surprises now and then, but our default behaviour should be as predictable as possible.
Predictability may sound boring at first, but more often than not, it beats the alternative: chaos.
Embracing the chaos sounds beautiful, encouraging and inspiring and, truth be told, it's a necessity to live in a world that is in constant change, but uncertainty is unknown, and the unknown is our most primal source of fear.
Humans fear that they don't know or don't understand. It's how we made it this far. It pushed us to evolve and shaped us as a species. Our entire existence was driven by bringing structure to chaos and eliminating the unknown.
That's why being predictable is a must-have quality for anyone who wishes to develop good relationships with others, personal or professional.
The unpredictable wildcard is an excellent character for books and TV shows, but in real life, when push comes to shove, people really want someone they can trust, meaning someone who will act as expected.
That applies to your partner, kids, co-workers and boss. People have a much easier time establishing trust when they know what to expect.
But how can one imprint this perception on others? How can you be seen as someone who can be trusted? How to be predictable?
It all boils down to being consistent with one's values and being transparent about it. If you are open to others about what you believe and constantly act in accordance with those values, with time, people will understand what type of person you are, and they will know what to expect.
This type of behaviour can be summarized in one sentence:
"Do what you say. Say what you do."
This is not something I came up with, and I can't remember when or where I first heard it, but this concept spoke to my inner self, and it's now forever etched in my being.
Clear and constant communication paired with compatible behaviour (i.e., doing what you say) is the key to bringing structure to chaos. I learned this "on the job" and applied it to my personal life.
As a project manager, one of my key responsibilities is managing stakeholder engagement. I learned that my job is a lot easier if I can get them to trust me enough to let me do my work with minimal to no oversight, knowing that if and when I need their intervention, I will let them know immediately. The way to build that level of trust is to be highly predictable.
The same can be applied to my personal life, where my "stakeholders" are my friends and family. I try to be predictable enough so they can trust that I will come through should they ever need me.
Final thoughts
Being predictable may sound like a bad thing at first, but predictability brings structure to chaos, which is the key to strong, long-lasting relationships of all kinds.
Predictability comes from consistent habits that are linked to solid values. The easiest way to come across as someone who can be trusted is to be transparent about what you value and constantly act accordingly. In summary, do what you say and say what you do.