10 years ago, I arrived in Andalucía, Spain. Prior to that I had spend 3 months in Morocco, where I had discovered I was pregnant and where I also suffered the lose of that pregnancy. I was heart broken. The pregnancy came as a surprise, but I welcomed it. I was already the mother to two beautiful girls. But when I suffered that lose, I felt so alone. Alone in my pan ad my suffering. It was a dark time for me, I was on my own in the truck, throughout the whole experience, in country where I had no support. Whilst I was in the depths of my despair, I called in my female ancestors, begging them, to bring me a community of women. A month and a half later, I found that community.
I arrived in Andalucía, broken. I had kept the remains of my baby, not wanting to bury them, in a land, where I had felt to alone. Two weeks after arriving, after finding a place to park our home, I took a walk down to the river and gave the remains of my baby to the river. I sang and I cried and later that day, I attended the community women's circle. Where finally, I got to share my grief, with a small group of women, women that made me feel seen and supported.
Tonight I returned to that same community, to attend another candle light concert by Mobius Loop. But this time I brought my three daughters with me. The concert was held n the temple, next to the land that I parked up on when I first arrived to this area. Land that is adjacent to the river, that sacred river, where I released the remains of my baby, where I finally began to release some of my grief. The same river, where I released some of my sisters ashes, 4 years later.
The concert, was such a beautiful exploration of grief and love and it was for that reason, that I wanted my daughters to attend. So that they could witness firsthand, how grief can be transformed into something beautiful, how it should be explored and celebrated. It was January 10 years ago, that I suffered the lose of pregnancy, February 6 years ago that I lost my sister and March 2 years ago that I lost my father. Each with 4 years and 1 month between them. It was also when my daughters lost a sibling, lost their aunty and lost their grandfather.
Tonight we sat together, experiencing the wonderful medicine of Mobius Loop as they shared their grief with us all. How their grief, the lose of their son Gemi, transformed them. How creating and sharing their music, helped to heal them and subsequently how it is now helping to heal so many others, myself included. I sat with my girls, singing with them, crying with them, so grateful to get the opportunity to experience this potent medicine with them.
( The first photo is from two weeks ago, when I attended the concert without my girls, the second photo was from tonight.)
