This is the story of fat to fun.
This is the story of a fat, angry, insecure, mean, negative, hateful, girl who turned into a confident, fun, kind, positive, loving, nurturing, helpful, sexy girl with help from 
I was 42 when I met Jay. I was on the verge of a divorce, I was miserably unhappy and completely unschooled in how to be a good human being.
It all began the day I got into a huge fight with my (then) husband, V.
I don't remember what we were fighting about… probably lack of affection, love, or time - or possibly him not taking out the trash, again. Whatever it was, I was furious.
When I get mad, I clean. Hard. On this day, I filled up the sink with scalding hot water and proceeded to hate-wash the dishes. But I could still hear his voice talking to our son in the living room. I stopped washing dishes to grab my headphones and I was planning on blasting music in my ears but a notification popped up on my phone that called my attention.
My friend RJ had a YouTube channel interviewing different people. (In fact, she had interviewed me once.) And on that day she was interviewing
Jay was still working with Evan Carmichael (Jay's biggest client who Jay helped go from 1000 followers to 3 million on YouTube). Evan is the 'Believe' guy. If you don't know his content, you should check him out. His empire is as big as it largely thanks to Jay. Anyway, I knew who Jay was because I was one of Evan's followers.
I’d followed Jay on Instagram but usually ignored his content because he posted a lot of photos of pornstars. (Jay’s captions were amazing but I was so angry at how fat I was in those early days that I never read his words).
I hadn't paid attention to what Jay was saying until that day.
Anyway, I was so mad, that I put my headphones on and clicked play on the interview. I turned it up really loud and started hate-washing the dishes again.
Then Jay came on screen, yelling at the camera (here's the interview if you're interested in seeing it).
Telling his story about being homeless, building a brand, and answering RJ's questions.
The second he started telling his story, I could feel all my anger drain away.
I stopped washing dishes and I stood in my kitchen, bent over with my face inches from my phone, hanging on Jay's every word.
I was fascinated by him.
He was saying things I'd never heard anyone say. His attitude, his vibe, his WORDS!
He didn't have to say he was a genius for me to figure that out pretty quickly. He was blowing my mind.
When the interview was over, I went straight to his Instagram and I scrolled down to the first post and started to read.
I kept getting interrupted by my kids and my (now ex-) husband was trying to talk to me to see if I was still mad. I brushed them all off and locked myself in the bathroom. I rolled a joint and smoked it while I read Jay's IG.
I spent 2 or 3 days reading every single post, every caption, every comment, and reply that I could find. When I was done with that, I went to his website, his YouTube channel, and I inhaled every single piece of content I could find.
A week later, I realized that I couldn't stop thinking about him. I even confessed to my husband. He and I were in a poly relationship so he encouraged me to reach out to Jay.
I was afraid to. What would I say to this genius? What could I offer him? I was a married woman, overweight, unhappy, with no business for him to #ryze. My art was shit, my mindset was worse, and my self-confidence was non-existent.
He had a newsletter so I decided to sign up and get his words delivered to my email. Or so I thought, lol.
It was supposed to be easy to sign up. But the universe had other plans for us.
I tried 5 different email addresses to sign up for Jay's newsletter and I couldn't. It wouldn't let me sign up. At the time, I blamed myself. "Omg, you can't even sign up for a newsletter? Seriously, Cynthia? You're that useless?"
2 days went by and I HAD to sign up. It was killing me. I was thinking about him and his words non-stop. I mentioned it to my husband and he said "What's wrong with you? You talk to men all the time. Just message him."
I thought it was insane. How could I message this amazing genius?
2 more days went by and I finally got up the nerve to DM him on IG (I followed him but he didn't follow me back so I had to wait for him to notice that I messaged him).
FINALLY (lol!) he replied. He said he would fix it. He thought he would go back to work after he helped me sign up. But that’s not exactly what happened.
Now, today, I know that the universe made this difficult so that I HAD to message him. I wanted to talk to him so badly but was so scared.
He couldn't have been nicer. He was so helpful and we started chatting. We became friends.
I started emailing him asking him all kinds of questions. I didn't know it then but Jay LOVES being asked questions and helping people. I told him I was a domme, but at the same time, I was flirting with him in very submissive ways.
Then we started to exchange music recommendations. And if you know me at all then you would know that I am OBSESSED with music and anyone that sends me music...well that is just the fastest way to get me naked and in their bed LOL!
But Jay was clear that he wasn't interested in me.
He was a 'lone wolf' and he was happy being alone. He wasn't looking for a relationship and I was MARRIED.
I'm a very private person (regardless of me sharing my life online and showing off now, I am still a private person) and I didn't share shit with ANYONE. I never told people about my personal life, my thoughts, my dreams, my hopes, my desires. I hid them even from my husband.
I had learned the hard way that if I shared my life with anyone then they would either use it against me, tell other people, or make fun of me for it.
But with Jay, it just felt natural to share with him. I was telling him things I had never told anyone.
I couldn't stop talking to Jay, sharing with him, or thinking about him. So I told my husband that I wanted Jay. He didn't care. He said ok then go for it.
But what I didn't say was that I no longer wanted to be married.
A little time went by and I expressed my annoyance with my own Instagram grid to Jay in a message. He said "I can help you with that" and he offered to call me the next day.
I was so nervous. I wanted to talk to him in private but there was no privacy at home, so I went to Starbucks and took my call there with him.
It was supposed to be a quick 30-minute call.
I cried for 30 of the 60 minutes that we talked.
Jay taught me in that one call that I was valuable, I was worthy, and that I was enough (there was a lot more to it then too but that's what I remember the most).
I got off the phone, left Starbucks, and cried the whole way home. I cried because I was transformed. I KNEW I couldn't go back to the life that I was living. I no longer believed that I had to be miserable anymore. I no longer believed that I had to stay in a marriage that I was unhappy in. I no longer believed that I wasn't good enough. I KNEW I could do whatever I wanted.
I have a very strong belief that I always get my way. My entire life people have been drawn to me and the things I want always happen. Even when I was angry and mean and hateful, I still got my way and yes, I bullied others to get it sometimes, but regardless I got my way.
And I knew I didn't want to be married and I knew I wanted to transform my life (I had taken lots of baby steps prior to meeting Jay but this felt different and I was right).
Jay didn't know at that time that I was taking painkillers, and muscle relaxers for my Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia. I didn't mention either to him.
But when I went home, I knew that I would stop taking those drugs, and soon. I just didn't know how, yet.
I knew that my life was changed forever.
I started by telling my husband that I wanted a divorce. And because for once, I didn't scream it at him during an argument, he knew I was serious.
It was over and I felt the biggest relief of my entire life.
I didn't leave V for Jay...I left V for me. Because I wanted to be happy. I had been pretending to be a Domme for 15 years but what I really am is a slave. I wanted to be a submissive slave slut to an alpha, Dominant man. And Jay was the one I wanted.
But back then I had no chance lol. I was not anywhere near what he wanted in a partner or lover.
But he agreed to collaborate with me on a book. I was so obsessed with his writing and his Instagram that I wanted to make his Instagram content into a book. So we made the world's first personal development coffee table book, called Soaring Beliefs.
Time passed, our relationship changed, love blossomed, and so did I.
The angry, fat, mean, hateful girl started to turn into this positive, happy, loving, kind, radiant girl who only wanted to help other people find the same kind of transformation.
I found my purpose. I found my love. I found my happiness.
It wasn't really Jay, exactly. It was him teaching me how to love myself. He taught me the law of attraction. He taught me how to manifest consciously. He taught me how to have the things I always wanted.
There's soooooo much more to my story than what I wrote here but the bottom line is this: If it wasn't for Jay, I would still be a miserable, mean human being. Jay taught me to love myself and by loving myself I was able to change everything else in my life.
I quit using painkillers and muscle relaxers. I cured my Rheumatoid Arthritis, my Fibromyalgia, my anxiety, my depression, and my emotional eating habits all using the law of attraction.
Because Jay opened the door to me loving myself, I've been able to manifest:
- My dream man
- My dream life
- My dream business
- Being happy
- Making money
- Setting boundaries
- Showing off
- Transforming my body
- Transforming my mindset
- Transforming my skills
He also taught me...
- How to love myself
- That I'm valuable
- That I'm worthy of my dreams
- That I'm enough
- To believe in myself
- How to transform my body, mind, and life
- The Law of Attraction
- How to make real decisions
Jay taught me all that and so much more. We used to have a giant list of all the things he's taught me but it's no longer up and we would have to update it. There's just sooooo much that he's taught me that it would probably break Hive's character limit lol!
It's been 2.5 years since we first met (November will be 3 years) The growth I've experienced has been truly epic. And though there are so many ways I can still improve, I love life and look forward to growing even more, daily.
I'm super grateful for my improvement and know that tomorrow I'll be better than I am today. I'm forever grateful to Jay for elevating my life and helping me become the girl that I always wanted to be.
If you’re interested in transforming any part of your life in a similar way, I’d like you to know that now…
Jay and I help others #ryze up, together.
We help them so that they too can become the people they want to be. We teach practical law of attraction to rebels.
Jay is the Spiritual Badass who can teach anyone who's receptive, and I'm (now) the friendly, cheerful, Cynshine-y opposite of who I once was, and I make sure people don't miss the opportunity to learn from Jay.
My passion is to help other people find Jay so that he can help them learn more about the law of attraction so they can also manifest the life of their dreams just like he did for me.
So, if you want to learn from Jay too then you can sign up for our Discord class on September 1st.
~Love, Cyn
