I haven't been able to get a good sleep since the huge typhoon hit our city and everything I see around me is falling apart and things aren't really going well.
I don't know if its just the desperate need for water or the sense of peace of mind and having control of things. My other thoughts tells me l, I have it better than others or am still lucky but what people don't understand and see is that the most enemy of oneself is its own self and own thoughts. "It's all in your head" "everything's gonna be fine" but how do fight those noises in your head?
Yes, I want to believe that everything is going to fine... in time.
No help is arriving in Cebu or if there is, clearly it's not enough. Some are trying to take advantage of the current situation, and I am not good at staying calm when I haven't gotten any good rest. And all I see outside is madness chaos! I want to help other people but I can't even help my own family.
I've been up all night, once in a while staring at my loved ones. "You're stronger than this!"
I just want all this noises to go away. I know I am stronger than this.
I left our unit at early dawn, past 4am, and walked backed and forth to 14 floor and the roof top. I needed to clear this noises in my head and felt like I need to shut down everyone. Walked outside and saw how beautiful can life still be.
I have my own family who needs me and too proud to ask help even from my partner or my friends. Others have it worse than our current situation. It's just freakin panic attack, everything is gonna be fine soon?