You guys know how much I love surfing, right? Like, a lot. If you could assign that love a really, really big number, like a gazillion billion trillion bazillion, you'd be in the ballpark. Now, if you took that number and used it to describe how much I really, really hate sewing, you'd be HALFWAY to describing how much I hate it.

But I figure, if Jamie can rebuild an entire engine, I could probably sew some fitted sheets for the individual bits of foam that make up our camper bed, right?

So first of all I measure and cut, using the depth plus about six inches PLUS the width and length on either side as a measure.

That seems to work okay. I then cut out squares that measure the depth (70mm) plus six inches (yeah I know it's two measurements, but just imagine I've converted it kinda with the tape measure in front of me) and use them to cut templates to cut the corners out. So far so good. I then get these corners and sew them together, and sew a hem all the way around. Also sew far sew good. Nana's sewing machine is cutting the mustard.

Then it's a matter of getting the elastic and holding it taut whilst I sew all the way around with a zig zag stitch. It gathers the fabric as it goes. Nice. It's working exactly like the youtube lady said it would.

So I manage to sew two whole covers. Yay. They look terrible underneath but let's just not go there. Here's the first one in place in the camper (which is nearly built, by the way!)

And then, disaster. The thread snags in the machine so I have to pull out the whole gizmo thingie. The problem is, I can't recall how it goes back together.

I message Mum, and we are on the phone for half an hour trying to sort it. Mum keeps shaking the camera so I can't see what she is pointing at, and we finally realise she has a different brand of sewing machine so that's not going to help me at all. I then remember a friend who has a Janome, and message her, and tells me how easy it is and how much she loves sewing. She sends me photos of hers to show me how to piece it back together. I try. I really do.

For an hour and a half.

At this time I'm feeling like an orangutan with a saw.

Worse, I'm experiencing very strong sensations of frustration. I swear A LOT at the machine. I start to feel really, really useless. Every time I snap it all together and thread the machine and go again, the needle sticks or the stitch is really, really messy. I think it's something to do with the tension but I really can't figure it out.

I had plans to do a really good post giving instructions on how to do fitted sheets and end up having to confess I'm a total hack. I could not be more pissed off. By the time Jamie comes home I'm a hot mess of childish tears. Worse, he's in no mood to jolly me on, and rather than being his usual helpful self, he tells me to be patient.

Wrong answer.

I swear to god I nearly throw the machine out the window. It's now sat there staring at me for two days. I know I have to sew these last remaining cushions, of which there are three, but I have no desire to get into that state this weekend.

I did try asking Mum. I get a flat 'no'.

Am I really going to have to solve this problem ON MY OWN?

But they should KNOW HOW MUCH I FLIPPING HATE SEWING.

Anyway, there IS a happy follow up post to this which I'll share next Monday, if you're interested!

With Love,

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