I spent a great deal of my time on the phone and in online chat with Allstate (my insurance company, I sure don't feel like "I'm in Good Hands")
I got the claim filed under vandalism, it would be covered (but I would have to pay the $500 deductible) and I thought that was that. I was told to check in with the "Collision Repair Shop" (one I chose from a list they provided)

I did this first thing after I got this email. The guy who answered (after I'd said who I was and why I was calling) "what is the make and model of the car?"
2011 KIA Soul I said.
After a very brief moment, he came back and said "I'm sorry, we don't work on cars older than 2012"
Then why the hell didn't the insurance company know this?
I hung up and called Allstate back (third call this morning) "oh but they DO work on those older vehicles" and after the third call, the (Allstate) guy said "I am scheduling Aban Towing & Recovery to pick up your vehicle and take it to repair shop. It will be after noon.
Then I proceeded to get text after text (PING) "Hi, I'm Roadside Chat. Stay tuned for updates! You can track, manage or cancel your roadside rescue with our Rescue Tracker:
(PING)
if you run into any trouble. Text us back, we're here to help!
(PING)
Our goal is to get you on the road quickly, in your area ABAN TOWING gave the best arrival time between 12:12 PM and 12:42 PM. Their number is (blah blah blah)

I do not need roadside assistance, I need you to COME TO MY HOUSE and get my car and tow it to the shop for covered repairs

(PING)
Hello, I'm your roadside virtual assistant.
I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. You can say CANCEL, GET ETA, CONTACT RESCUER, or OTHER.

Other

(PING)
I'm still having trouble understanding.
(PING)
For more support, you can contact ABAN TOWING at 205-822-5000.
(PING)
Was this information helpful? Reply YES or NO.

NO

at this point I called the phone number provided for ABAN TOWING, he didn't like my tone and said they were canceling and would send this back to Allstate

(PING)
Hi, we found another roadside rescuer who can better assist you! We'll update you with more details shortly.
(PING)
PEACH TOW is on their way

friends, I really cannot stand texting. I have an app on my PC that allows me to send/receive texts from my PC, as well as get pics off my phone without having to connect it via USB...
Otherwise, I can barely read the text on my phone. When that (PING) sounds, I have to stop what I'm doing, put on my glasses, open the text and MAYBE see what it is, but I damned sure can't respond well, my fingers are too fat.

So about 15 min later, Peach towing showed up (my phone rang, but I was walking out waving so I didn't answer it) but at the same time, ANOTHER TOW TRUCK was pulling in right behind him, my phone rang.
"Hi, is this Mr Jerry? Tell that tow truck to go away as I am the authorized tow for you"
I have a text (I said) telling me about HIM, but not one about you.
Then as the Peach guy was backing in, my phone rang again, an automated message asking me to verify I no longer needed ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peach guy said when I told him that the gear shift wouldn't move without the key. No putting it into neutral.
"Do you have a flat head screwdriver? I'll show you how to unlock the gearshift"

so you don't come prepared with the tools you'll need to do your job?

But I got a screwdriver, he unlocked the gearshift, had me operate the controls on the lift (I was there when I took the pic at the top)
He loaded it up. I had to sign and initial in a few places, then he left.
I spent the next hour repositioning my under carport camera so that I hope it will now capture a face if anyone comes again.

THEN I tried to get confirmation that my car had indeed made it to the shop( I have EXTREME trust issues now)
20 min of my valuable lifetime trickling away, but I got that confirmation, only
Caliber needs you to come in and sign some papers!!!!!