Hello visitor, greetings... Today I want to talk about a topic I haven't addressed before, to share my own experience. I've heard on several occasions how some people have dealt with the pain of a breakup in many different ways. I was surprised by how exaggerated they could be (or so I thought), and I often wondered why? Why do they exaggerate? It's simply a matter of letting go and both moving on. But everything changed for me when it happened to me. To this day, it's incredible how everything I heard became a reality for me, and sometimes I even told myself, "This is worse than what many people described." But it had to happen to me to know. From my own experience in 2017 , today I'll tell you how I overcame the pain of a breakup that lasted almost eight years.
Todos me decían que enamorarme es lo peor que podía hacer.Everyone told me that falling in love was the worst thing I could do./
During my teenage years, my feelings weren't clear, but I do remember having a sincere friendship with someone I fell in love with a year later. He was a friend who studied at the same high school. Our relationship barely lasted a year, but at that stage, I simply didn't feel love, only infatuation, so that relationship didn't last at all. I enjoyed that and could freely and quickly start a new relationship. I remember everyone telling me that falling in love was the worst thing I could do, but I'm human; I have feelings, and I had always wanted to find someone who reciprocated those feelings, who wanted the same things as me, who had the same goals, and with whom I could support each other. They told me so many things, and although I confess that it discouraged me a lot because I couldn't find someone, I continued to ignore them.
Years later, after several attempts at short, aimless relationships during my adolescence, I had to move to where I currently live. This city is almost 3 hours from my hometown where I was born and raised until my adolescence. I met someone online by chance, just two days before my birthday and turning 18. At that time I was 17 and he was 30. This is a topic I will talk about later, since it was a long-distance relationship, but one that marked me completely.
I knew nothing about life, I was burdened with anxiety and emotional turmoil. Adolescence hit me hard because I was depressed; not a day went by that I didn't think about suicide. Those were the worst emotional years of my life, and that person arrived at just the right moment, when I needed help the most, both physically and emotionally. I had moved to this city because of the crisis the country was experiencing, looking for a better life and just to survive. I only worked selling sweets, and that barely covered my food expenses since I had to send money to my mother, who had just had my little brother. Those were difficult times, and he was a support to me, helping me financially. Our long-distance relationship gradually grew; we had many video calls, and the bond we shared felt as if we had known each other for years. I never thought I would find someone like I always hoped, but I had gotten my hopes up, and what I thought would last forever ended in 2023.
We'd had our share of disagreements, the normal things in relationships, but I didn't know a long-distance relationship was going to be so difficult. I was often frustrated watching the days go by and the expectations I thought were certain, the promises that took so long to be fulfilled. I cried a lot at night, telling myself it was my fault and that I was responsible for feeling this way because I'd allowed it to happen. I told myself that if I hadn't accepted it, none of this would be happening. But I was wrong. We always hope things go well when you put in the effort and give your best, but he had other plans. Unfortunately, he realized too late that I wasn't the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, no matter how in love he was with me, and those changes started to become noticeable right away. It's worth noting that long-distance relationships require a lot of sacrifice from both partners, but in this case, I was the one sacrificing the most, and all I got was his rejection. I realized I couldn't keep clinging to something that wasn't real. It didn't meet my expectations; instead of feeling happy and at peace, I felt exhausted and burdened with an emotional weight that was increasingly difficult to bear. I was no longer the important one, but rather the things in life. Many excuses began to emerge, many of them meaningless.
When I decided to end the relationship, I felt like everything was falling apart. I didn't know what to do. How was it possible? I wondered why I couldn't move on without someone who, after I had trusted him so much, I felt was betraying me, playing with my feelings. I felt useless, with no will to live. I told myself I couldn't trust anyone again, that it would be very difficult, and it was, because the fear was there, the fear that the same thing would happen to me, that I was always the one who got hurt for being foolish. Until I had no other choice but to move on because I couldn't live with someone who had given up on leaving a long time ago, who was starting his new life, so I had to move on with mine too. It wasn't easy because there were times when I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to know about him, what he was doing, who he was with, what was happening in his life, if he still loved me or not.
But I kept thinking that I couldn't save anything; what was done was done. If that person decided to remove me from their life, it was because they weren't satisfied with me, I didn't meet their expectations, and they had stopped feeling much for me. I had to accept that; it was just difficult. I tried to forget them, to focus on other things that were worth thinking about for my emotional well-being, and that's how I gradually recovered. No one tells you the truth about how difficult a breakup of a long-term relationship is. Even though it's hard, we must accept the other person's decisions. We can't force anyone to love us, and we must work to maintain our own happiness and peace, something that no one else can give us but God. You can love, but you can't get used to it because it hurts so much more when you get used to it, when you do things out of habit. When you don't have it anymore, you'll suffer, and it's something that's hard to overcome. It takes time, but giving myself time and being patient with myself has helped me a lot. I'm using this experience to help others who have gone through it, even to this day. There are times, not always but rarely, when I remember what I've been through, but it's time to turn the page and accept the changes, keep what's good for us and try to discard what doesn't serve us, and that includes what makes us feel, giving ourselves the value and dignity we deserve.
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Gracias por tu visita pequeño loto| Thank you for your visit, little lotus.
Images:my own work | Edited by:Canva® and InShot | Translator:Google Translate.
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