Hace años cuando fui jefa de un departamento en el que tenía a cargo a varios analistas, uno de ellos mantenía un fuerte conflicto que me agobiaba, al punto de expresar en una reunión con mi superior inmediato que los dos no podíamos seguir, uno de los dos se tenía que ir. Lo que dijo me dejó atónita, para él quedarse trabajando yo tenía que renunciar, de lo contrario, renunciaría él. Presionarme a mí para que yo renunciara, algo que obviamente no acepté y el chico, tomó una decisión, primero hizo una campaña, difundió que renunciaría por mi culpa, luego entregó la carta, la idea era dejarme como culpable de haberse quedado sin empleo. Que haya renunciado fue su decisión y por ende fue responsabilidad, así que solo él tenía que asumir las consecuencias.

En las relaciones de pareja, de amistades o negocios, debemos tener claro que si nos fallan la primera vez, es posible que no tengamos responsabilidad directa, pero si nos sucede de nuevo, debemos asumir nuestro error. Hay que reconocer y aceptar las consecuencias, somos responsables porque confiamos nuevamente en alguien que ya nos había fallado y está acostumbrado a hacerlo. Cuando fracasamos en las relaciones de pareja, solemos sentirnos culpables y buscar en nuestro interior en que fallamos, quizás dimos lo mejor de nosotros, pero la otra persona a lo mejor no estaba en sintonía con nosotros. Allí comienza nuestra responsabilidad, no vemos las señales o las pasamos por alto, o quizás, le damos oportunidades a personas que no lo merecen. En un tiempo me sentí culpable de perder a alguien que quise mucho y me culpé por ese final. Sin embargo, reflexionando, me di cuenta que no había hecho nada para que el otro se fuera, pero tuve responsabilidad por haberme quedado allí y haber dado oportunidades a alguien que no lo merecía. Haber perdido el tiempo fue mi responsabilidad.

Conozco personas que justifican sus decisiones no acertadas culpando a otros. Una vez tuvimos que hacer un trabajo desde nuestro teléfono, el profesor había sugerido hacer la actividad el mismo día de la clase, pero como estábamos en otra ciudad, no teníamos nuestras laptops a mano. Nos costó hacer el trabajo porque no teníamos experiencia en el uso de las aplicaciones desde nuestros Smartphones. La chica que estaba conmigo se equivocó y envió la tarea con un error. Estaba molesta y la escuché decir algo alterada, “por culpa del profesor lo hice mal, porque nos mandó a hacer el trabajo hoy mismo”. De verdad eso fue así?, no, el profesor hizo una sugerencia, pero fue ella quien se equivocó al usar la aplicación.

Desde hace mucho tiempo, comprendí que cada decisión deriva en una consecuencia, que no siempre acertamos, y por ende, asumo mis responsabilidades, nada de estar buscando culpables en otro lugar.

Responsibilities are part of our lives, and as Damarys says in the initiative's publication, they define us for better or worse. For me, being responsible has always been important. Doing my homework at school to get good grades was one of them. Over time, responsibilities change and become increasingly complex. Now that I am an adult, I am responsible for paying my utility bills, keeping up with my work activities, taking care of the house, etc. However, responsibilities have another meaning, one that goes beyond the obligations we must fulfill. These are none other than the decisions we make in life.

In life, decision-making is a daily constant. From the moment we wake up, we begin to make decisions, such as what to have for breakfast or what clothes to wear, to mention just a few simple things. We continue with other, more significant decisions that keep us on edge and present us with dilemmas. That is when decision-making becomes complicated. Decisions can be right, but that's not always the case, and then guilt sets in. We want to justify ourselves and find someone to blame. Not acknowledging mistakes, in addition to being immature, means deceiving ourselves and ceasing to be trustworthy, especially when we constantly look for someone to blame. One thing must be clear: every decision has a consequence, and we don't always get it right. If that's the case, we must accept the results and move on, as the expression says, “Pa'lante es pa'alla” (Forward is forward).

Years ago, when I was head of a department in charge of several analysts, one of them was involved in a serious conflict that was weighing heavily on me, to the point that I told my immediate superior in a meeting that the two of us couldn't continue working together and that one of us had to leave. What he said left me stunned: for him to stay on, I had to resign, otherwise he would resign. He pressured me to resign, which I obviously did not accept, and the guy made a decision. First, he launched a campaign, spreading the word that he would resign because of me, then he handed in his letter. The idea was to make me look like the one responsible for him losing his job. His resignation was his decision and therefore his responsibility, so only he had to face the consequences.

In romantic relationships, friendships, or business relationships, we must be clear that if someone fails us the first time, we may not be directly responsible, but if it happens again, we must take responsibility for our mistake. We must recognize and accept the consequences; we are responsible because we trusted someone again who had already failed us and is accustomed to doing so. When we fail in relationships, we tend to feel guilty and look within ourselves to see where we went wrong. Perhaps we gave it our best shot, but the other person was not on the same wavelength as us. That is where our responsibility begins. We do not see the signs or we overlook them, or perhaps we give opportunities to people who do not deserve them. At one point, I felt guilty for losing someone I loved very much and blamed myself for that ending. However, upon reflection, I realized that I had done nothing to make the other person leave, but I was responsible for staying there and giving opportunities to someone who did not deserve them. Wasting time was my responsibility.

I know people who justify their poor decisions by blaming others. Once we had to do an assignment on our phones. The teacher had suggested doing the activity on the day of class, but since we were in another city, we didn't have our laptops with us. It was difficult for us to do the assignment because we had no experience using the apps on our smartphones. The girl who was with me made a mistake and sent the assignment with an error. She was upset, and I heard her say, somewhat agitated, “It's the teacher's fault I did it wrong, because he told us to do the assignment today.” Was that really the case? No, the teacher made a suggestion, but it was she who made a mistake using the app.

I have long understood that every decision has consequences, that we don't always get it right, and therefore I take responsibility for my actions, rather than looking for someone else to blame.