I wrote a little on this topic a while ago with the question of whether we can even define what neurotypical is. After all, no two brains will ever be exactly alike. Throughout my life I have found that many of those who I think are well adjusted to society and fit in well often describe similar fears and discomforts to my own about not fitting in or not belonging. I have recently begun to wonder if this could also be a disconnect between our evolution whereby we retain our tribal instincts and the modern world where we have to discard tribalism in order to get along with strangers and people we only have tenuous connections to.

I think we are all on a spectrum of neurodivergence and how it manifests will dictate how well we do at fitting into society. Some will feel fairly comfortable doing it, others will have to try harder to be successful at it and others will really struggle. Over the years I've found it easier to accept that just because I don't feel like I fit in anywhere I'm actually not shunned at all. Nobody should feel forced to accomodate others at the expense of their own discomfort, just as nobody should feel forced to fit in when it makes them uncomfortable.