My definition of rejection from the opposite sex entails: A refusal by a man or a woman to give a man or woman an opportunity to get to know them (with the possibility of forming a romantic relationship), because of their own reasons, which may be valid or not; because of societal reasons (like societies expectations and views of both men and women), or because of their upbringing and past relationship experiences.
The official definition of rejection according to the Oxford advanced dictionary is:
A) The act of rejecting something.
B) The state of being rejected.
These definitions are more or less in alignment with my view on rejection. I have faced refutation a number of times in life; and all those moments contributed to me questioning my manliness. I doubted myself, beat myself down, and thought I was lesser than, because I faced rejection time and time again. So much so, I came to a point of deciding it is better to quit on women, focus on my goals which entail navigating towards financial freedom, and aiding my family in all they need.
Basically, I had and, in some instances, still sense a nudging within me towards the desire to overlook the opposite sex, in terms of ever being in a relationship with a woman, and instead focusing on progression in my life.
This discussion is not meant to be exhaustive or set in stone, it is based on my own opinions and personal experiences, as well as the fact that not everyone goes through the same type of rejection. We all experience at some point in life different types of rejection, whether from possible romantic partners, family, friends and the public.
**Why do women reject men? **
She is simply not interested in you – No physical attraction.
She is afraid of what public may say – Fear of public ridicule/criticism.
She likes you but not in the way you want.
She does not respect your capability as a man.
She has unrealistic expectations for men.
She thinks she is too good for you – she may be.
They are not in the space for a relationship at present (Because of whatever reason they may have – past experiences, career decisions, the desire to remain single).
The women may not want a relationship, only a desire for a sexual encounter.
The woman is a lesbian.
**Why do men reject women? **
He is not interested in her beyond friendship or at all.
The woman is not physically attractive.
3.The man is occupied with another partner (a relationship, a marriage) this may apply only to men who can control their sexual urges.
The men may not have time for a relationship beyond a sexual encounter.
The man is a homosexual – Gay.
The man is only interested in reaching his professional goals.
**How rejection affected me negatively? **
• It made me have a low self-esteem.
Whenever my advances were rejected, I would feel a blow being dealt to my self-confidence. I begun to fear that every woman I approached would hit me with the same reaction I have consistently been receiving.
• Made me question how I was created naturally. I started to look down on my physical characteristics. I started to think I was too black, my toes were too long, not straight enough, I felt I was too tall, that my hands were too big, I actually felt at a point like I was ugly.
• Made me hate women
Hate is a strong word but I resented women because I knew/know the type of guy I am and what I deserve but I never got that, which is not fair, but reality exhibits that life is not fair so I came to gain an understanding that despising or hating them will just block me from having a clear judgment when ever I come into contact with the opposite sex.
**How rejection affected me positively? **
• I embrace rejection now
When I see a woman, I find attractive I talk to her, no matter if she refuses to interact with me. I love rejection now because it serves to make me stronger.
• I realized men don’t need a woman to a life.
The Bible itself (ultimate authority on life) states it is better for a man and a woman to be alone for in this way they minimize their worries about their loved ones and all resources required to care for them. Giving them (men or women) much needed time to focus on not only your job but your work (purpose here on earth).
In conclusion, as men we must know our worth, don’t go all out for a woman that is not willing to do the same for you. I, as sure as heaven and hell are real, am never doing that ever in my life. Peace and Love.
Photo by Monstera from Pexels