JOURNEY WITH GRANNY
source
Years back, I boarded a bus to school, It was an inter-state journey and the distance was really far. It was so far that we would be passing through two states before we got to our destination. It was an 8 hour journey. Amongst the passengers of this bus was this old woman. As she entered the bus, she told all the passengers in the bus that she wanted us to remind her when we got to Delta State . Delta State was the first state we would pass as we journeyed to our destination, it was a 3 hour drive from the park. We all agreed and we assured her that we would definitely remind her when we got to Delta state.
Whilst we journeyed, we all fell asleep and forgot to alert the old woman when we were at Delta State. We had long passed Delta State and just as we were about entering the state of our destination. The old woman asked " Have we not gotten to Delta State yet ? ", The driver then replied " Ma'am we've past Delta state a long time ago, it's about 3 hours behind us".
The old woman then began crying and saying " Take me back to Delta state!, please take me back to Delta State" . All the passengers in the bus felt pity for the old woman, we knew it was our fault because she had initially emphasized that she wanted to be alerted when we got to Delta State and we had assured her that they would alert her. We beckoned on the driver to turn back so we could take the woman to Delta before they continued their journey.
The driver hesitated because Delta was far behind but he later agreed and drove back to Delta state. When we got to Delta State, the driver stopped the car and told the old woman that she was now at Delta. He opened the door for her, expecting that she would alight. The old woman simply opened her bag, took out a bottle of water and some drugs, put the drugs in her mouth and swallowed it with the water.
She then smiled and said " thank you my children, my daughter told me to take the drugs when I got to Delta state, since I've taken the drugs , we can continue the journey".
馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ
DO YOU WANT TO DANCE
source
Dick went to a party with some friends. The party was so groovy and fun and it had a lot of beautiful girls in attendance. All his friends easily got female partners at the party but he was just alone. All the beautiful girls were taken and he didn't seem to see a girl he liked.
He finally saw this very beautiful damsel named Angel and he liked her so much. He wanted to approach her and talk to her but she stood with a friend of hers named Kate. Dick waited patiently for a time when Angel would be alone so he could approach her but it wasn't forth coming as Kate her friend followed her everywhere she went to as if she was her bodyguard. It really annoyed Dick. All his friends were already dancing and having good times with their girls but here he was waiting for Kate to leave Angel so he could make his grand approach. No one had asked Kate for a dance yet and so she hindered other guys from approaching Angel. Dick got fed-up and he went straight to Kate, he smiled as he asked "Do you want to dance ? ", Kate was excited, she smiled as she answered "yes I do" . "Ok you can go and dance, I want to talk to your friend Angel" Dick retorted.
THE ULTIMATE WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM
source
A very fat man wanted to lose weight , he had previously tried several weight loss exercises and programs but it never worked because he lacked the motivation and vigour to follow through .
He recently saw an advert on television with the theme "The Easiest way to make a Man lose weight". they had assured people that they were going to make people lose 10kg every week.
He got excited and signed up for the program immediately. He called the number he had seen on the screen to schedule a meeting and he was told to come the next day by 6 a.m.
When he got to the gym, he was given a workout kit and put into a hall. In the hall was just him and a very beautiful and sexy lady dressed in a breast revealing crop top and and pants.
He was immediately stunned by the girls beauty, The girl turned to him and said, "If you can catch me, you can make love to me", she started running and the man ran after her but couldn't catch her. the same thing happened everyday for one week but he never caught her. After the week he lost 10kg and he felt he was now fit enough to catch the sexy lady.
He went back the next week, now fitter than he was the previous week hoping to catch the lady. When he got into the hall, he found another much more beautiful and sexy lady.
This lady was really hot, she was dressed in bikinis. He got sexually aroused immediately, "You can make love with me if you can catch me" she said to him. He immediately started chasing her and she began running. He tried all he could but couldn't catch the lady as she always outran him.
This continued for two weeks and after the two weeks he discovered that he had lost 20kg. He was really happy and decided to continue with the program.
This time, he decided to do a more intense program. He said he wanted to lose more weights so he chose the hardest weight loss program. "Are you sure ?", they asked him "why not ?, I'm sure" he replied.
He got up early the next day and made his way to the gym. He was really excited he even trained at home so he could catch the sexy lady they would bring this time.
When he got to the gym, he was blindfolded and taken into the hall and was locked inside. As he took off the blindfold, what he saw was a mad woman dressed in bikinis. She looked at him with a grin, showing off her brown teeth "baby I love you, if I catch you, I will make love to you " she said as she approached him. His eyes wide open with fright, he screamed " No !!!!!" , The crazy woman chased him around the hall and he ran for his life. That week he lost 40kg. 馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ.
sourceUNENDING LOVE
After several fights and arguments, Dick's girlfriend decided to end the relationship with him. Although she knows that Dick loves her so much, she was just fed up with the incessant quarrels. She wanted her peace. One-day she walked up to Dick and said "Dick, it's over", Dick looked at her with so much confusion and asked "my dear, what is over ?", "My love for you" she replied. Dick sighed in relief and said, "That's not a problem, if your love is over , we can just use mine"
Versi贸n en espa帽ol
Jornada con la abuela
fuente
Hace a帽os, sub铆 a un autob煤s para ir al colegio. Era un viaje interestatal y la distancia era realmente larga. Era tan lejos que pasar铆amos por dos estados antes de llegar a nuestro destino. Era un viaje de 8 horas. Entre los pasajeros de este autob煤s estaba esta anciana. Al entrar en el autob煤s, nos dijo a todos los pasajeros que quer铆a que le record谩ramos cuando lleg谩ramos al Estado del Delta. El Estado del Delta era el primer estado por el que pasar铆amos en nuestro viaje a nuestro destino, que estaba a 3 horas de viaje desde el parque. Todos estuvimos de acuerdo y le aseguramos que se lo recordar铆amos cuando lleg谩ramos al estado del Delta.
Mientras viaj谩bamos, todos nos quedamos dormidos y nos olvidamos de avisar a la anciana cuando estuvi茅ramos en el Estado del Delta. Ya hab铆amos pasado el estado de Delta y justo cuando est谩bamos a punto de entrar en el estado de nuestro destino. La anciana pregunt贸: "驴A煤n no hemos llegado al Estado del Delta? "El conductor le contest贸: "Hace mucho tiempo que pasamos por el estado del Delta, est谩 a unas 3 horas de distancia".
La anciana empez贸 a llorar y a decir: "Ll茅veme de vuelta al Estado del Delta, por favor, ll茅veme de vuelta al Estado del Delta". Todos los pasajeros del autob煤s nos compadecimos de la anciana, sab铆amos que era culpa nuestra porque ella hab铆a insistido inicialmente en que quer铆a que la avisaran cuando lleg谩ramos al Estado del Delta y le hab铆amos asegurado que la avisar铆an. Hicimos se帽as al conductor para que diera la vuelta y pudi茅ramos llevar a la mujer a Delta antes de que ellos continuaran su viaje.
El conductor dud贸 porque Delta estaba muy lejos, pero luego accedi贸 y condujo de vuelta al estado de Delta. Al llegar al estado de Delta, el conductor par贸 el coche y le dijo a la anciana que ya estaba en Delta. Le abri贸 la puerta, esperando que se bajara. La anciana simplemente abri贸 su bolso, sac贸 una botella de agua y algunas drogas, se meti贸 las drogas en la boca y las trag贸 con el agua.
Entonces sonri贸 y dijo: "Gracias, hijos m铆os, mi hija me dijo que tomara las drogas cuando llegara al estado de Delta, y como las he tomado, podemos continuar el viaje".
馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ
驴Quieres bailar
fuente
Dick fue a una fiesta con unos amigos. La fiesta era tan groovy y divertido y ten铆a un mont贸n de chicas hermosas en la asistencia. Todos sus amigos consiguieron f谩cilmente parejas femeninas en la fiesta pero 茅l estaba solo. Todas las chicas bonitas estaban ocupadas y 茅l no ve铆a a ninguna chica que le gustara.
Finalmente vio a una damisela muy hermosa llamada Angel y le gust贸 mucho. Quiso acercarse a ella y hablarle pero ella estaba con una amiga suya llamada Kate. Dick esper贸 pacientemente un momento en el que Angel estuviera sola para poder acercarse a ella, pero no lo consigui贸 porque su amiga Kate la segu铆a a todas partes como si fuera su guardaespaldas. Esto realmente molestaba a Dick. Todos sus amigos ya estaban bailando y pas谩ndolo bien con sus chicas pero 茅l estaba esperando a que Kate dejara a 脕ngel para poder hacer su gran acercamiento. Nadie hab铆a sacado a Kate a bailar todav铆a y por eso imped铆a que otros chicos se acercaran a Angel. Dick se hart贸 y se dirigi贸 directamente a Kate, sonri贸 mientras le preguntaba ***"驴Quieres bailar? "Kate estaba emocionada y sonri贸 mientras respond铆a: "S铆, quiero". ***Kate estaba emocionada, sonri贸 y contest贸 que s铆, que quer铆a bailar.
EL PROGRAMA ULTIMO PARA PERDER PESO
fuente
Un hombre muy gordo quer铆a perder peso , hab铆a probado anteriormente varios ejercicios y programas de p茅rdida de peso pero nunca funcion贸 porque le faltaba la motivaci贸n y el vigor para seguir.
Recientemente vio un anuncio en la televisi贸n con el tema "La forma m谩s f谩cil de hacer que un hombre pierda peso". hab铆an asegurado que iban a hacer que la gente perdiera 10 kg cada semana.
Se entusiasm贸 y se inscribi贸 en el programa inmediatamente. Llam贸 al n煤mero que hab铆a visto en la pantalla para concertar una cita y le dijeron que fuera al d铆a siguiente a las 6 de la ma帽ana.
Cuando lleg贸 al gimnasio, le dieron un kit de entrenamiento y lo metieron en una sala. En la sala s贸lo estaban 茅l y una mujer muy guapa y sexy vestida con un top y unos pantalones que revelaban los pechos.
La chica se dirigi贸 a 茅l y le dijo: "Si me alcanzas, puedes hacer el amor conmigo", y ella empez贸 a correr y el hombre corri贸 tras ella, pero no pudo alcanzarla. Al cabo de la semana, perdi贸 10 kg y sinti贸 que ya estaba en forma para atrapar a la sexy dama.
Volvi贸 a la semana siguiente, ahora m谩s en forma que la semana anterior, con la esperanza de atrapar a la dama. Cuando lleg贸 a la sala, se encontr贸 con otra mujer mucho m谩s guapa y sexy.
Esta dama estaba realmente caliente, estaba vestida con bikinis. 脡l se excit贸 sexualmente de inmediato, "Puedes hacer el amor conmigo si puedes atraparme " le dijo ella. Inmediatamente empez贸 a perseguirla y ella empez贸 a correr. 脡l hizo todo lo posible, pero no pudo atrapar a la dama, ya que ella siempre le dejaba atr谩s.
Esto continu贸 durante dos semanas y despu茅s de las dos semanas descubri贸 que hab铆a perdido 20 kg. Estaba muy contento y decidi贸 continuar con el programa.
Esta vez, decidi贸 hacer un programa m谩s intenso. Dijo que quer铆a perder m谩s peso, as铆 que eligi贸 el programa de p茅rdida de peso m谩s duro. "驴Est谩s seguro?", le preguntaron "驴por qu茅 no?, estoy seguro", respondi贸.
Al d铆a siguiente se levant贸 temprano y se dirigi贸 al gimnasio. Estaba muy emocionado, incluso se entren贸 en casa para poder atrapar a la sexy dama que traer铆an esta vez.
Cuando lleg贸 al gimnasio, le vendaron los ojos y lo llevaron al pasillo y lo encerraron dentro. Cuando se quit贸 la venda, lo que vio fue una mujer loca vestida en bikini. Lo mir贸 con una sonrisa, mostrando sus dientes marrones "cari帽o te quiero, si te cojo, te har茅 el amor " dijo mientras se acercaba a 茅l. Sus ojos se abrieron de par en par por el susto y grit贸 "No !!!!!"*** , la loca lo persigui贸 por el pasillo y 茅l corri贸 por su vida. Esa semana perdi贸 40 kg. 馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ.
fuenteAmor que se despide
Tras varias peleas y discusiones, la novia de Dick decide terminar la relaci贸n con 茅l. Aunque sabe que Dick la quiere mucho, estaba harta de las incesantes peleas. Quer铆a estar en paz. Un d铆a se acerc贸 a Dick y le dijo: "Dick, se acab贸", Dick la mir贸 con mucha confusi贸n y le pregunt贸: "querida, 驴qu茅 se acab贸?", "Mi amor por ti", respondi贸 ella. Dick suspir贸 aliviado y dijo: "Eso no es un problema, si tu amor se ha acabado, podemos usar el m铆o***"
and 
to participate in this contest