Son las 2 am y Enrique piensa, estoy a mitad de la noche, llevo 3 horas aquí y faltan 3 para que amanezca. Está en un hospital, en el área de hospitalización general, en la habitación yace su padre, quien lo sacaron hace un par de días de terapia intensiva, le había explotado un tumor en el colon, estuvo casi 3 semanas en un coma inducido mientras se recuperaba de varias operaciones que le hicieron.
Uno lucha por su vida y el otro lucha contra en cansancio y sueño para permanecer despierto y cuidarlo, aproximadamente cada una hora, debe limpiarle el conducto de la traqueotomía, se le llena de mucosas y podría ahogarse, su padre casi no se puede mover y a penas balbucea unas palabras que con dificultad le entienden. En su Smartphone le pone canciones para que se relaje y se duerma, conoce sus canciones favoritas y las descargó para ponerla en las noches y que así descanse.
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No tiene ni una silla para sentarse mientras pasa la noche, se sienta en el suelo o a veces se roba una colchoneta de otra habitación vacía sin que se den cuenta las enfermeras, para acostarse y descansar un poco, no logra dormirse, no puede, no debe hacerlo, cuando el cansancio le gana, en el fondo escucha un sonido que le alerta, la respiración agitada de su padre, no se está ahogando, pero reconoce cuando ya hay que limpiarle de nuevo antes de que no pueda respirar.
Su familia no se explica cómo está allí, esperaban lo peor de Enrique, sabían que la relación entre ellos dos no era nada buena, la forma en que Enrique se expresaba de su padre, les hacía pensar que lo odiaba con toda su alma, llegó a hacerlo, años de malos tratos sin ninguna muestra de cariño mataron todo lo que podía sentir y esperar de un padre, él ya era un hombre, había madurado mucho, prueba de ello es que estaba allí.
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No lo odiaba, pero tampoco lo quería, solo estaba allí para cumplir con su deber de hijo, su padre jamás le cuidó cuando estuvo enfermo o necesitado, no lo conoció como padre, solamente como maltratador y dictador arrogante de su familia. Cualquiera en esa situación lo hubiera abandonado, pero en su madurez y principios, no era de los que pagaba con la misma moneda cuando le hacían mal, el resto de la familia también ayudaban, su otra hermana lo cuidaba de día, habían acordado que llegaría a las 7 am para relevarlo, él debía ir a casa a descansar para luego trabajar, a penas dormía 3 horas, 4 cuando mucho, al salir del trabajo se dirigía directamente al hospital de nuevo.
En las mañanas antes de irse le ayudaba a su hermana a asearlo, él intentaba hablar y le entendían que decía que se quería ir, ella solamente le repetía que se calmara, que se quedará tranquilo, que todo estaba bien, obviamente su padre no se calmaba, más bien se agitaba más, Enrique, en cambio, le decía, aún no te puedes ir, te hicieron una operación y te tienes que recuperar para estar en la casa, ¿aún no tienes fuerza verdad? Estás mejor, pero aún te falta, esperemos que los médicos te den de alta, entonces, más tranquilo, ya no preguntaba y se quedaba pensando.
Los días pasaban y el cansancio en Enrique se acumulaba, en su trabajo, le costaba concentrarse y cumplir debidamente las tareas, en el hospital, no coordinaba los tiempos, tenía que anotar la hora en que le limpiaba el conducto, porque dudaba de si lo había hecho, su padre tampoco estaba muy bien, se recuperaba de la operación, cicatrizaba la incisión, pero su respiración no estaba bien.
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Enrique decide hablar con su hermana, porque aunque habían acordado que ella llegara a las 7 am, siempre llegaba entre las 8-9 am, tiempo que le serviría a él para descansar un poco más, prácticamente le rogó, su salud y su empleo estaban en juego, él no se estaba negando a seguir ayudando, solamente quería poder estar bien para hacer el trabajo de buena forma. Ella se excusó diciendo que no era posible, que esa era la hora en que ella podía llegar, que tenía que atender su casa y a su pareja también y le era imposible llegar antes.
Él muy molesto tomó una decisión, no iría al hospital esa noche, se marchó para ir a descansar e ir al trabajo como acostumbraba, pero esta vez no iría al hospital, sino a casa a descansar por una noche, no le dijo nada a nadie, sabía que su familia lo criticaría por dejar sola a su hermana con el cuidado de su padre, igual esperaban siempre lo peor de él, aunque hiciera cosas buenas, no se las reconocerían, solamente le señalarían las que no les gustaran. Y así fue, le dijeron mal hijo, mal hermano, pésimo ser humano y pare de contar, aguantó callado, las explicaciones que pudiera dar, nadie las escucharía, conocía a su familia.
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Al día siguiente cuando salió del trabajo, fue directo al hospital a retomar su deber, esta vez se encontró a su hermana en el pasillo esperándolo, él pensó que le reclamaría por lo que hizo, pero no hubo reproche, otros familiares ayudaron durante aquel día para suplir su ausencia, pero había algo que no estaba bien, le dijo que los médicos no pensaban que su padre pasara de esa noche, la máquina para respirar no le estaba ayudando y su respiración era cada vez más débil.
Los médicos aún en la habitación estaban por irse, estaban un par de familiares más y su madre, pensaban pasar la noche allí, a esperando lo peor o tal vez con la esperanza de que amaneciera, salió un momento de la habitación a agarrar aire para asimilar todo lo que le venía, no terminó de pensarlo cuando escuchó los gritos de su hermana, no estaba respirando, salió corriendo a buscar el médico que se acababa de ir, tal vez estaba a pie de la escalera, regresó con él y un enfermero, se dispuso a ayudarlos como si fuera otro enfermero más, intentaron reanimarlo, pero no pudieron hacer nada, se desplomó en el suelo casi en shock, él dentro de la habitación y los demás afuera.
Se levantó y salió de la habitación, todos le miraban preguntándole, solo pudo agitar la cabeza en signo negativo, su rostro lo decía también. Su hermana se tiró al suelo gritando de dolor, él la abrazó y se sentó junto a ella sin soltarla, ahora eran dos huérfanos de padre, él se mantuvo fuerte por ella, la abrazaba y besaba su frente diciéndole, hiciste todo lo que pudiste, no hubo nada que no le faltara gracias a ti.
Enrique, junto a una prima, se encargaron de todo lo referente al sepelio, su hermana no se encontraba en condiciones de ayudarle, nuevamente, se hizo cargo de su deber. Ella lo llamó y le dijo que no quería estar en el funeral, entendía que su papá estaba muerto, pero no quería verlo así ni atender a los que llegaran, él le dijo que lo entendía, pero que ella debía vivir eso también, que es parte del duelo, aun así se negó.
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El día del entierro ella no se presentó y él estuvo allí cumpliendo su labor como hijo, no derramó una sola lágrima, no tenía por qué, no lo apreciaba, tampoco se alegró por ello, hizo todo lo que nadie pensó que haría, no por ellos, sino por él mismo, sabía que podía ser mejor que lo que su padre fue y lo que esperaban de él.
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That night in the hospital
It's 2 am and Enrique thinks, I'm in the middle of the night, I've been here for 3 hours and it's 3 hours before dawn. He is in a hospital, in the general hospitalization area, in the room lies his father, who was taken out of intensive care a couple of days ago, a tumor had exploded in his colon, he was almost 3 weeks in an induced coma while he was recovering from several operations he had.
One fights for his life and the other fights against tiredness and sleep to stay awake and take care of him, approximately every hour, he has to clean the tracheotomy duct, it fills with mucus and he could choke, his father can hardly move and barely babbles a few words that he can hardly understand. On his Smartphone he plays songs for him to relax and go to sleep, he knows his favorite songs and downloaded them to play at night so that he can rest.
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He doesn't even have a chair to sit on while he spends the night, he sits on the floor or sometimes he steals a mat from another empty room without the nurses noticing, to lie down and rest a little, he doesn't manage to fall asleep, he can't, he shouldn't, when tiredness wins, in the background he hears a sound that alerts him, the agitated breathing of his father, he is not drowning, but he recognizes when he has to be cleaned again before he can't breathe.
His family does not explain how he is there, they expected the worst from Enrique, they knew that the relationship between the two of them was not good at all, the way Enrique expressed himself about his father, made them think that he hated him with all his soul, he came to do it, years of mistreatment without any sign of affection killed everything he could feel and expect from a father, he was already a man, he had matured a lot, proof of that is that he was there.
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He did not hate him, but he did not love him either, he was only there to fulfill his duty as a son, his father never took care of him when he was sick or in need, he did not know him as a father, only as an abuser and arrogant dictator of his family. Anyone in that situation would have abandoned him, but in his maturity and principles, he was not one of those who paid with the same coin when he was wronged, the rest of the family also helped, his other sister took care of him during the day, they had agreed that she would arrive at 7 am to relieve him, he had to go home to rest and then work, he barely slept 3 hours, 4 at most, when he left work he went straight to the hospital again.
In the mornings before leaving he helped his sister to clean him, he tried to talk and they understood him saying that he wanted to leave, she only repeated to him to calm down, to stay calm, that everything was fine, obviously his father did not calm down, rather he became more agitated, Enrique, on the other hand, told him, you cannot leave yet, you had an operation and you have to recover to be in the house, you still do not have strength, do you? You are better, but you still have a long way to go, let's hope that the doctors will discharge you, then, calmer, he did not ask any more questions and kept thinking.
The days went by and Enrique's tiredness accumulated, in his work, it was hard for him to concentrate and fulfill his tasks properly, in the hospital, he did not coordinate the times, he had to write down the time when he cleaned his duct, because he doubted if he had done it, his father was not very well either, he was recovering from the operation, the incision was healing, but his breathing was not good.
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Enrique decided to talk to his sister, because although they had agreed that she would arrive at 7 am, she always arrived between 8-9 am, time that would serve him to rest a little more, he practically begged her, his health and his job were at stake, he was not refusing to continue helping, he just wanted to be able to be well to do the job in a good way. She excused herself saying that it was not possible, that that was the time she could arrive, that she had to take care of her house and her partner as well and it was impossible for her to arrive earlier.
He very upset made a decision, he would not go to the hospital that night, he left to go to rest and go to work as usual, but this time he would not go to the hospital, but home to rest for one night, he did not say anything to anyone, he knew that his family would criticize him for leaving his sister alone with the care of his father, they always expected the worst of him, even if he did good things, they would not recognize them, they would only point out the things they did not like. And so it was, they called him a bad son, a bad brother, a lousy human being and so on, he kept quiet, the explanations he could give, no one would listen to them, he knew his family.
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The next day when he left work, he went straight to the hospital to resume his duty, this time he found his sister in the hallway waiting for him, he thought she would claim him for what he did, but there was no reproach, other relatives helped during that day to make up for his absence, but there was something that was not right, he told her that the doctors did not think that his father would make it through that night, the breathing machine was not helping him and his breathing was getting weaker and weaker.
The doctors were still in the room when they were about to leave, there were a couple of other relatives and his mother, they were planning to spend the night there, waiting for the worst or maybe hoping for the day to dawn, he left the room for a moment to get some air to assimilate everything that was coming to him, he did not finish thinking about it when he heard his sister's screams, he was not breathing, he ran out to look for the doctor who had just left, maybe he was at the foot of the stairs, he returned with him and a nurse, he set out to help them as if he were just another nurse, they tried to revive him, but they could do nothing, he collapsed on the floor almost in shock, he inside the room and the others outside.
He got up and left the room, everyone was looking at him asking him questions, he could only shake his head in a negative sign, his face said it too. His sister threw herself on the floor screaming in pain, he hugged her and sat next to her without letting go, now they were two fatherless, he stood strong for her, he hugged her and kissed her forehead telling her, you did everything you could, there was nothing she lacked thanks to you.
Enrique, together with a cousin, took care of everything concerning the burial, his sister was not in a position to help him, again, he took over her duty. She called him and told him that she did not want to be at the funeral, she understood that her father was dead, but she did not want to see him like that or attend to those who arrived, he told her that he understood, but that she had to live that too, that it is part of the mourning, even so she refused.
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On the day of the funeral she did not show up and he was there doing his job as a son, he did not shed a tear, he did not have to, he did not appreciate it, he was not happy about it either, he did everything no one thought he would do, not for them, but for himself, he knew he could be better than what his father was and what they expected of him.
Translated with deepl.com
All images were edited with "Multi layer app"
