Hello Writing Club Community! I’m Patsitivity and this is my first time posting here. I’ve written this piece back in 2018 and only get to have the courage to share it just today. I feared I’m never going to write anything decent worthy of publication so for 3 years, this one and the rest stayed hidden from anyone’s eyes.
But life’s too short not to try, right? So here goes…
This is a 1000+ word short story revolving around the bitter end of a relationship between Mae and Ruggero. This one’s very raw, not polished and I’d be glad to receive constructive comments and suggestions in the comment section to help me in writing more quality pieces.
And during one of what Mae labelled as breakdowns, she knocked at his door. She knocked like an old friend returning. This time she came with countless questions, an incredible load of doubts with fascinating traces of what looked like a never-mending pain. The questions that bothered her, she threw at him.
She thought, "He better be ready".
Then Ruggero told her to travel, to travel farther, to do something she hasn't done before, to meet new people, to create new experiences, to learn new set of skills.
"There’s more to life than this”, he said.
More to life than all her pain and grief combined, Mae supposed.
These comforting words Ruggero uttered were rather appealing. Well, at least, on the first moments she encountered them. Just like he always does, these words were delivered with a bewitching charm that’ll blind anyone; they’re delivered with such gentleness that May never had time to think and to prepare for the harm ahead; they’re delivered just as how Mae predicted it to be delivered, just as how she wanted it. In fact, he always responded depending on what she (and maybe the rest) wanted to hear, what she wanted to know. To Mae, it appeared that he’d been storing these reassuring words for too long that he knew exactly what words to say and when to say it. It felt like he’s a master of calming hearts he stirred himself. That’s how he does it; he only tells you things you wanted to listen to. That’s one thing Mae discovered, just recently. It’s pretty late to discover things like this. No use at all. She should’ve been more judgmental.
Then she tried throwing questions she perceived to be really tricky and difficult: How am I supposed to tell my kids about you, about us?
But without blinking, Ruggero confidently answered: Tell them their mom is strong and she didn’t give up on life.
See? That’s beautifully, freshly pulled out from the garden and laid out like a thousand red roses without thorns, like music without end, like food promising eternity. And if Mae hadn’t learned anything at all, she'd think it’s said out of even the slightest hint of guilt or of some hope to, at least, try to correct things.
But he spoke to Mae like he never did any of this, like he’s not part of this chaos, like he’s just a bystander telling a random stranger to move forward or else sadness will succumb and life will be engulfed with nonstop darkness.
Mae suddenly remembered the endless oceans of text messages Ruggero sent a few weeks back before this encounter:
“I’m so sorry”
“You deserve better, Mae”
“You don’t deserve any of this”
“You’re too kind”
“I should’ve known better”
Mae’s certain that she read it right. She read it but it’s just unusual to not spot any misspelled words this time. He usually misspelled sorry. Let’s just consider he’s texting or chatting with so many other girls and he had to properly manage time. He didn’t want to be caught - that’s one thing Mae couldn’t be mistaken.
Brought back to the reality, the now. Mae knew that Ruggero's devised comforting words and standardized apologies weren’t convincing enough. Not this time.
"He must be happy; he thought I believe him," she whispered in the wind.
But little did he knew that the moment he betrayed her, the only truth Mae believed in was her agony. That’s the only truth she decided to register in her system. The rest were part of his growing pile of lies but his sympathizing words, Mae received them, like a gift from an uninvited visitor. She received them only to be discarded and disposed of later on. They were just plainly words anyway. Lifeless, senseless.
Then her ears caught a few more disturbing lines that came out of Ruggero's lips, “Don’t die, life’s so beautiful.”
Mae stopped, for a moment his words felt like a splash of cold water unto her face. That night was not the first time he said life is beautiful. She waited for that moment to frankly ask him “Where did you learn that life’s beautiful?”
"Did one of your girls taught you that life is beautiful when you were feasting on their bodies? Or perhaps you saw that life is beautiful when you witnessed tears rolling down my cheeks?" May couldn't hold it any longer.
“Tell me, when did you exactly realized that life if beautiful? How come it could still be beautiful?”
Point it out to me. Let me review it. Let me be the judge. One thing’s for sure tho, life was once beautiful. Not until you came." she added while rage exploded in her eyes.
Here’s another set of my favorites lines Rugero told her:
“I’ve been there”
“I know how it feels like and it’s difficult”
“Just keep moving”
"Oh, so you knew it would be this hard, cold, dark, painful and exhausting journey down huh? Then why’d you dragged me here?" an outburst of emotion came out of her.
"Omg, I forgot you are supposed to have fun! I guess you had a fair share of fun, a whirlwind fun, to be more specific." she sounded sarcastic almost laughing.
Well, she's betting the fun they shared will be his favorite. It’s the one he’ll never ever forget in his lifetime because he made her believe that there will still be sunshine tomorrow, when in fact he knew all along that tomorrow’s all about darkness, a never ending darkness. Not again! But yes, he wins.
He tried to reason out, “I really want to make it up to you, Mae. All I did, it’s so unnecessary.”
"I mean, seriously? You are really telling me this now? You think saying them could undo everything?" a kind soul's words of dismay.
But he was right, she thought. All that she's going through now for months and counting are all unnecessary. She could’ve just skipped it. But he didn’t skip her. He added her on his list, that’s something beyond Mae's will, beyond her control.
Her kind self, when it was still alive, asked: What if he’s telling the truth? What if his words were meant to comfort? What if he meant all that he’s been telling you?
Mae laughed at her old self's displayed innocence, and blatantly told her old version “Believe and trust, they’re not the kind of words you could assign to him. He’ll practically just waste it.
Ashamed of her old self's lingering thoughts, she finally disappeared out of her.
Ruggero asked her to stay longer, to spend more time somewhere else. Perhaps this was his way of taking away the pain he inflicted. It was difficult to say no and just walk away but she gathered all the strength and courage left in her flesh, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, looked at him for the last time (Oh, how she wished it wouldn't be the last time) and finally, wiped her tears dry.
She smiled. It wasn't the first time she walked away from someone, but tonight, one step felt like not even a millimeter. Nonetheless, one step after the other, away from her almost lover, away from her almost dream come true.
"This sucks," she kept telling herself. But this was better than staying, believing in lies, believing in something which wasn't there to start with.
✨That's it!✨
Not even sure if this will be considered as a short story. This was just something I kept in my pads (yup, actual writing pads/notepad) and had to encode it. Call me traditional, but there's this joy writing with an actual pen and paper brings to me.
I'm excited to share my other works, soon! Gotta go, we're in a middle of a typhoon here in Philippines, specifically Cebu. Keep safe everyone! 😁
Living life intentionally every single day, she believes that there’s no limit to one’s potentials. Right now, she’s on the loose for the pursuit of endless holistic self-growth and development. She wants to light the way for others. She believes there’s no better way to leave a legacy than to pay it forward.
Her ultimate goal in life is to reach the state of enlightenment where there’s nothing but peace, love, happiness, and contentment - nothing more, nothing less.
If you are captivated by what this girl just wrote here, an upvote is pretty appreciated. Follow her as she tells her stories full of positivities. The next story might be for you! ❤️