The biggest change in his young life happened after the call finally came a couple years later and she had screamed in a way he had never heard before. The sudden explosion of elation caught him completely unaware and then before he could turn around she had picked him up in her arms and was twirling around in circles in the small living room.
“It finally happened, we finally have the settlement. We finally have it,” she said as tears began to stream from her eyes.
It still didn’t mean anything to him but she was sure happy and that was what he cared about at the moment, aside from the desire that had been gnawing at him to go find something he could take apart. Soon she had him back on his feet on the floor and he was running to the stairs and then to his room to dig in his pile for anything he could pull apart.
The next week went by like normal with the days spent in the small dining room at the table with the pda going through various lessons as she worked to teach him what she could. He was feeling more capable with his reading and was showing it in his understanding of the various materials she gave him. He found one topic drew his attention more than others and the idea of cybernetics and AI had dug a deep hole in his head and buried themselves there, daring him to dig into them.
“Mom, I want this kit,” he said as he pointed to the pda screen.
“What is it?”
“It’s a robotics kit that let’s you learn to program the AI and work with the neural nets while building a cybernetic head,” he explained excitedly.
She leaned over to look and he quickly slid the pda in front of her and she looked through the page. “It’s how much?” she asked in sudden surprise.
“I know it’s a lot but it would get me through advanced robotics on my own without needing school. This is all I need to learn with,” he said. His hands were starting to get hot and he felt his neck beginning to heat up as he went into desire overdrive.
She didn’t say a word but kept scrolling the page and reading. After nearly ten minutes she finally slid the pda back to him and calmly said, “yeah, I think that looks like a good project for you when you‘re older. This kit is for much older students.”
His face froze as she spoke as he was trying to make sure he heard her right. The slight turn of his head and she said, “yeah, I think we’ll get it.”
He felt like his head was going to explode he was so suddenly happy to an extent he had never known. The intense joy that bubbled up from his toes to the tip of his nose culminated in him jumping from his chair and bear hugging her waist and squeezing for all he’s worth. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,” he repeated as he squeezed.
She smiled and squeezed him back before pulling him away from her and looking him in the eyes and saying, “this is for you to learn with and I expect you to use it for its intended purpose.”
“I will, I want to learn to program it, don’t worry,” he said as he let go of her waist.
“This does seem a bit on the advanced side for a five year old but I think we can afford it,” she said with a smile. “We’ll look at it as something for you to grow into.”
The time between then and the moment it was in his possession drug on with every second ticking by in extreme slow motion. Until he had the box in front of him and the prior weeks disappeared in a blast of newness and excitement. All his moping and dragging around the house complaining about how long it was taking for the thing to get there vanished when he opened the box to unveil the bags of pieces and parts. He looked up at Esme with imploring eyes as she stood nearby to which she said simply, “it says assembly required.”
He upturned the box and the bags plopped down onto the floor with a tinkling as the various pieces inside crashed against each other. It had the similar sound to little pieces of broken glass hitting a hard surface and he poked the bags a bit before throwing the box over his shoulder where it landed on the floor behind him.
“This is a build it set so you are going to have to sit and focus on it. We’ll start on it tomorrow after we read the directions some,” she said as she retrieved the box and began to drop the bags of parts into it.
His heart felt like it was in his stomach as he stared at the immense amount of pieces that were being put into the box. It looked impossible and he felt the distinct desire to put it outside and forget about it. The look on his face must have given away his thoughts because she was there at his side with her arm on his shoulder as she kneeled next to him.
“You did ask for this. I won’t make you start it yet but it will be a part of school soon,” she said as she rubbed his shoulder.
He pouted heavily as he watched her close the box top, his hand still holding the instruction booklet he swung it up in the air and it slid from his grasp and landed in a flutter behind him. He crossed his arms and sat brooding.
“Don’t be so difficult. You asked for this. If only you knew how important this’ll be to you,” the voice chided him in his head.
Esme retrieved the booklet and after straightening the bent pages she slid it into the box with the rest of the kit and set it on the counter then said to him, “tomorrow we’ll start it but we are going to do it right and in order. The instruction booklet is huge so this is going to take forever but we can do it if we go one step at a time.”
He didn’t want to do anything with it now and his face stayed sour as he ruminated in his frustration. Of course it was too hard for him, he knew it the moment he saw it, but something about it sparked an image in his head that hew knew was of him building the kit. The short scene had flashed in stark clarity and he felt like it was a glimpse into his future. Now he just wanted to not see it again.
The next morning as he sat at the table with his pda working on his math problems when Esme set the kit on the table and sat down next to him. He watched from the corner of his vision but kept his head down and tapped out answers. She opened the box and pulled the instruction booklet out and began to flip through the first pages. He tried not to move his head but he couldn’t help it and he lifted his eyes and watched her. She flipped a few more pages then said without looking at him, “whenever you are done with your math problems.”
He opened his eyes wide for a moment then quickly dropped his head and tapped out the last of the math problems. He slid the pda forward towards the middle of the table and looked at her expectantly.
“You’re sure you want to do this? We’re only going to work on it together for now. We’re going one step at a time and are not moving to the next step until the prior is finished. You understand?” she asked.
He nodded his understanding then turned his attention to the box sitting on the table.
“That’ll wait until we get through the instructions to that step. The first pages all need to be read and understood before beginning,” she read from the inside of the front cover.
The nervous feeling he felt was like ants crawling under his skin and he squirmed noticeably in his booster seat. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow waiting for him to acknowledge which he finally did with a slight nod of his head.
“Good. I think we can easily get to the first step in the building process now. I just need you to pay attention to this first part, these are the rules of the kit,” she said.
He eyed the box a bit longer than turned his eyes to her and she began reading. The first pages were all about the process of the build with the next few listing off the litany of things not to do. He keyed onto one, “This is a standalone unit and is not to interact with the network in any way”, and wondered why. What could the AI do bad? Wouldn’t it have to be programed to learn to do bad?
Suddenly he was aware that she was silent and he refocused back onto her face as she looked expectantly at him. “Sorry, what?” he asked with a wince.
She shook her head slightly then said, “this is why we’re going to take this step by step. You don’t need to be daydreaming and break something or install it incorrectly.”
He glanced back to the box then said quietly, “okay mom. I don’t want to break it so I’ll be good.”
She smiled at him and he put on a big cheesy smile in return which made her chuckle.
That first day they got through the first thirty four steps which had the core structure formed and ready to begin building the external surface. Esme flipped ahead in the instructions and found there were over a thousand which made her eyes widen. ”I think this is going to take a while to finish and we got a lot farther than we thought we would, I think we are done for today,” she said as she rolled her head around and stretched her neck.
He stared at the core structure for a while after she got up and left the room. His mind wandered as he dreamed of it being assembled and programming it, of it becoming sentient and having full conversations with him. He sat in his dream state until she brought him his lunch and he popped back to and quickly devoured it.
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