Angry Gary and Angry Larry the Leopard Slugs
Bureaucracy
Larry left his nook in search of food and shortly after exiting he ran into Gary who was on his way back from watching the news.
“How was the news?” Larry asked as they got close.
“Pretty much the same thing as yesterday. Might have to elect a whole slew of new senators and congressmen if they all go down,” Gary replied.
“What else they say? Anything major?” Larry asked.
“No, just more talking around the real points and filling air time. Typical news it seems,” Gary slightly huff. “You find anything?” he asked Larry.
“Bolleak-AI updated their site so now I can run reports. It’s not perfect but I got the list of all the names that are in all the files from the data dump. 386 of them and most of them I don’t know. It’s just a list with no other details so I have to figure out how to cross reference all the names to a job or title. I’m not sure where to begin yet,” Larry said in a flurry of words.
Gary’s confusion grew as he asked, “Damn, sounds like you have your work cut out. Aren’t others working on that anyway? I’m sure there are plenty of others that are doing what you are, why not let them? Wouldn’t you rather be out here finding the tasty food with me?”
Larry’s shocked look gave Gary a start then Larry replied, “No. I enjoy this. It’s a mystery and I want to be the one to find the answers.”
“But the data is all there and the AI is working on it, let it do its job and we can watch the fallout,” Gary said with a shrug of his mantle.
“I’m going to keep working on this until I get it or someone else does. Like I said I enjoy it,” Larry replied. “I’m hungry, you wanna go search?”
“I just ate after the incidents so I’m good. You go ahead,” Gary said with a slight shudder.
“Incidents?” Larry asked.
“Bird tried to get me on my way up the bush and a toad almost saw me at the base of the bush on the way down,” Gary said in a flat tone. “I did find some good food on the way back though which kind of made up for them,” he continued.
“That’s good. Where was the good food at?” Larry asked.
“You should go see if the toad left anything, it went off into the grass but I didn’t stay to see. Otherwise just look around, I found a bunch of little bits here and there.”
“I’m not sure I want to follow the toad, I’ve known too many slugs that have been eaten by them, I don’t feel like tempting fate today,” Larry said cautiously.
“Your choice. I’m going to go sleep,” Gary said quickly as he slugged away towards his hole.
Larry watched him leave then turned and slugged off into the thick grass stand. He worked his way between root tops bursting with stalks and blades of grass, pathways winding all between them. As he rounded the curve of one he came tentacle to tentacle with a snail.
“Hey!” Larry said startled by the sudden appearance.
“Uh, hi,” the snail responded clearly startled itself.
They sat facing each other looking one another up and down for moments before Larry asked, “have you seen any good food around here nearby?”
The snail sat with its shell gently moving around above its foot then paused the movement and said, “that depends on what you are looking for.”
“I’m looking for food. I’m sure you have seen some around here,” Larry replied as his tone took a tightness.
“Yes, but what kind of food,” the snail smoothly said.
“Food!” Larry raised his voice and said.
“If I don’t know what kind of food you want I have no idea which direction to send you,” the snail said it’s voice becoming nasally.
Larry’s tentacles dropped in frustration then as he raised them his voice was strained as he tried not to yell again saying, ”what was the last thing you saw?”
The snail paused before saying, “I saw a pile of toad feces a ways back that you might like.”
Larry sat blinking in surprise and in suspicion. “How the hell. Did Gary set this up?” he thought.
His blinking continued and the snail watched him until it said, “I said a pile of toad feces.”
Larry caught himself and looked back at the snail and quickly said, “sorry. A pile of toad huh? Where?”
“Just follow my trail and you’ll find it,” the snail replied.
“Thanks. I’m going to go now, try and find that. Can I just get around you here?” Larry said as he moved to go around the snail.
There was limited space for them to pass each other and the snail moved close against one mound of grass and Larry moved tight against the other. He was able to squeeze himself between the grass and the shell nicely and as he passed he giggled as he left a trail of slime across the snail’s shell.
Larry followed the snails’s trail as it wound between the forest of grass tufts and mounds. The trail seemed to be trying to go around every mound and Larry was becoming frustrated.
“What the hell? Where is this supposed pile of toad? I should have asked how far,” he thought as he slugged along.
Around each curve and bend there were bugs and other creatures lurking and moving about. Small spiders spun webs in the grass above and grasshoppers chewed on grass stalks. A worm stuck what he could only assume was it’s head out of one grass tuft before quickly returning inside. Larry rounded another curve to find himself out of the forest and on the edge of shorter less dense grass. He could see the snail trail as it went into the grass then he saw it, the pile was next to the trail in the green grass.
Larry quickly slugged to the pile and stopped at its edge. He tested it with his tentacles, tapping at various places. It had the air and feel of being fairly fresh and he paused his tapping to cautiously look around him. His sudden paranoia hit him like brick and he had an awful feeling. He turned back to the way he came and in the distance past the point he exited the forest he saw large sections of grass moving and shaking.
His mind was racing at the sight and and the panic grew as he knew he would need to make it back to the forest of grass where he would be safe from most predators. Taking a big mouthful of the toad pile he began to slug as fast as he could towards the forest. The closer he got the closer the thing got and as he got to within a slug length of the forest the crunch and crash of the grass behind him now exposed a spiny hedgehog sniffing at the air.
Larry screamed in his mind at he sight and with all his might slugged into the safety of the grass forest before him. He followed his trail as fast as he could manage, making turn after turn, startling various insects as he rushed past at top slug speed. After dozens of such turns he stopped to rest his now tired body. He lay stretched flat against the ground and his tentacles dropped as he sighed in exhaustion.
He lay there with his mind blank save the image of the hedgehog. His mind then began to recount the previous encounter and he thought he would rather have seen the toad, at least it is slower than the hedgehog. If he would have been any further from the trail he would have been eaten for sure.
Slowly he regained some will to move and gradually began to follow the trail. After an interminable amount of time he found himself to where he met the snail as judged by the piles of slime. He continued around that tuft but before long the trails divided and Larry sat at the intersection.
“Shit,” he said to himself.
His tentacles tapped at both trails in turn to feel the difference, to find which one was his. The snail was less viscous than his and he could easily tell them apart. He turned to follow his trail and soon found himself exiting the forest of grass. He was beat and headed directly to his nook. As he entered he looked at the blinking pda and paused, contemplating seeing what was going on. He sat thinking it over, sleep or seek, sleep or seek. He snapped his tentacles back and forth and moved to the pda looking down at it. He tapped the top notification and the article opened.
It began, “DOJ now saying it will be many months before the full investigation can be complete. The sheer volume of information will take many man hours to work through and the staffing is limited.”
Larry’s tentacles dropped and his eyes hit his mantle in disgust. He limply raised them again to look at the next articles. Each one said the same general story, the investigation would be taking many months to complete. All the while all those people are allowed to walk around and continue to do exactly what they have been. Still able to run the country and still able to sell harvested organs.
Larry heard Gary’s call from the entrance and called back to him. As he entered Larry turned with depressed look.
“You okay?” Gary asked quickly.
“Today sucks,” he said with a shake in his voice.
“What happened?” Gary asked in concern.
“A snail, pile of toad feces, then a hedgehog almost ate me. I slugged for my life and barely got away then had to slug all the way back here. Now I see the DOJ is going to stall the investigation,” Larry said in exasperation.
“Damn, a hedgehog? You’re lucky, I don’t know any slug that has gotten away from one of them,” Gary said in surprise. “So what if the DOJ stalls it?” he continued.
“The world will forget about it in a week. Just watch. While they all get to continue to rule the country,” Larry said.
Looking at his pda again Larry scrolled a bit then his tentacles dropped again and he tapped the alert and an article opened.
Larry read the opening aloud,“Governmental scholars are saying that there likely won’t be any indictments as it would gut the legislative branch thereby crippling the government which would have ripple effects across the world.”
Larry raised his eyes and looked at Gary saying, “go figure. The corruption of bureaucracy in full effect.”
Gary nodded his tentacles in agreement then said, “I’m going to go eat, that sleep made me hungry.”
“I’m dead. I’m going to sleep.” Larry said pushing his pda aside and moving against the wall and quickly falling asleep. Gary watched him pass out then turned and left the nook.
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