A Field Trip Down Memory Lane
I recently remembered the weirdest parental consent form that my daughter asked me to sign for a school field trip. She was in Grade Eight. Her class was going on a field trip to "Head Smashed in Buffalo Jump," which you will realize is not the weird part of this story if you live in Alberta. It is actually a UNESCO World Heritage Site.
The consent form (and I wish I had kept it) asked that I sign off on any potential harm, including death (it specifically mentioned death as a "potential harm") that might arise on the trip. It went on to say that, by signing, I agree not to sue or cause a fuss even if the harm is caused by negligence on the part of the school or the site. Even if it is caused by negligence. They really wrote that.
I wondered how any parent could sign such a thing. I called the school. They said it was just routine. I said I had never seen this routine before. I was willing to sign off that, if there was an accident, I would not blame the school, but not "even if the accident is caused by staff negligence." That would be like signing a waiver at the hospital agreeing that if there is malpractice, you won't sue.
Angry Girl
My daughter was very mad at me because it was the first and only time I could not let her go on a field trip. I tried to explain it to her, but I don't think she understood my worries at the time.
Thinking back, I am surprised more parents did not complain. Did they not read the form? It seems very important to read what we sign, especially if it involves our children's lives.
It's hard to stand up for what you believe in when people assure you that your concerns are both absurd and ridiculous. However, if you don't stand up for what you believe in, you are not allowing yourself to count as a person. It's also important to be open-minded, and open to the idea that you might be wrong.
Backing down too easily is a mistake, but refusing to back down when you should is also an error. I think part of true wisdom is learning when to stand up for what you believe and when to accept that you might actually be mistaken.
Should You Believe Yourself?
It is hard to think for yourself and stand up for your beliefs when people tell you that you are being absurd. I think it's very important to listen, and to take such allegations seriously.
I grew up with someone who developed schizophrenia. He trusted himself and did not believe others when they said he was ill. He threw his medication in the garbage.
Clearly, each of us needs to find a way to be true to our core beliefs while also remaining open-minded. That can be a balancing act.
How to Get Out of Denial
I had a very bad experience years ago. I keep threatening to write about it. It was a romantic con, but I didn't know that. I thought it was a relationship. Did I find out because I am clever? No. Because the guy told me? No. Because I believed my friends and family? Nope.
What happened was that I was upset by this guy and so I broke up with him. I'll skip the details for now, but I was upset, and I thought I was at risk for my depression recurring, so I went to see my psychiatrist. My psychiatrist said, "My dear, I am afraid you have been conned."
I proceeded to explain to him at length why he was mistaken. He said he hoped I was right.
As I walked to the elevator, I thought about it. I felt that my doc probably thought I sounded like I was in denial, which was annoying considering how not in denial I was. Then, I had a revelation: how could anyone ever know they were in denial? Think about it. If you were in denial, you would be certain you were not in denial. However, also, if you were not in denial, you would be certain you were not in denial. Logically, how do you know which is true and which is false when you are you?
I realized that the only way (I could think of) was to embrace the premise "I am in denial" even though I did not truly believe it. Then, I would review the facts and see whether "I have been conned and am in denial" or "I just ended a relationship with a guy who owes me money but is sure to pay me back soon" better fit the facts. Based on which one fit better, I would decide which was true. I made a promise to myself to try to keep my ego out of it because it is really hard to admit to yourself that you are in denial, but if, indeed, I was in denial, I was certain that I did not want that.
Well, you can imagine how it turned out. Once I embraced the idea I had been conned, everything made much more logical sense. It was terribly disappointing to be confronted with overwhelming logical proof that I had to be in denial.
My parents made me promise not to confront this guy, so, what did I do? I confronted him. Then he tried to kill me, which pretty much confirmed my suspicions, and I discovered that I have some self-defense abilities I was unaware of. I am grateful, but you cannot count on that. It was extremely stupid of me. I underestimated the situation. He had never been violent before.
Conclusion
My point is that we must think for ourselves, but also keep an open mind.
After I wrote this, coincidentally, I was commenting on 
I once saw a psychologist when I was dealing with a lot of stress in my early 20's. I said to her, "I really think I am in denial." She surprised me by saying, "Harlow, sometimes, denial can be a wonderful thing!"
I had to consider her words to understand them, but she was right. It is important to face reality, but there are times when, for the sake of our sanity, not facing reality can be the healthiest thing for us. The human mind can only take so much stress and pain, which is why we experience denial. Sometimes, we just need a break!
Until tomorrow!
Much love,
Harlow
(P.S. Help the Ukraine with Hivebuzz's NFTs for peace if you can. zirochka has published three articles showing how these funds are already being used to help people in need..)
"Too many people simply give up too easily. You have to keep the desire to forge ahead, and you have to be able to take the bruises of unsuccess. Success is just one long street fight.″
Milton Berle, Comedian
Photo Credit Girl with Bow and Arrow
Photo Credit Ukrainian Flag - Peace in Ukraine with a free Ukraine soon I hope
Today is Day 4 of HiveBloPoMo. It's not too late to start, my friends! @traciyork/hive-blog-posting-month-aka-hiveblopomo-starts-april-1st-2022
You might not get the full glory of a month's worth of posts, but it is still pretty exciting. Yes it is!