A few months ago, I read one post where the author (EDIT: Thanks to , we tracked down the author... It was
) was talking about understanding other people, and showing support to each other... As I try to be supportive of people whom I know, I was reading it with pleasure... To my surprise, the author had a strong "feeling" toward one specific thing... I can't remember the exact words that he used, but it was something like this:
When someone tells you a personal story, where he/she was hurt or had some trauma, even if you had a similar experience like them, you can't say the words: "I know exactly how you feel, as I had the same experience!"
Created on Canva.com, using my photo as a background
I remember saying those words numerous times, and only now I realize how wrong I was... There is no chance to know "EXACTLY" how someone else felt, or feels, as there are so many variables in the equation... We are different people, grown up in different circumstances, in different families, environments, etc. So, from that moment onwards, I avoided using that sentence... I don't know how you feel, but maybe my experience could help you out...
Now, let me connect a few more dots... 😃 Yesterday, I was attending the PYPT show in the DreemPort discord, and accidentally, posted a HELLO gif into the wrong channel... Before I realized that, I got a reply on that image by ... and later on, an additional comment:
Screenshot from Dreamport Discord
In between these two events, I stumbled upon this interesting YouTube video, and as most things come in threes, here we are, discussing this topic... As Sam said: "Nothing happens completely by accident!"
As you can see from the thumbnail, the video is intended for a specific generation, but I saw there are similar ones on the same channel... When I saw this video, it was a nice follow-up on the thought from the beginning of this post... about understanding people better...
I don't want to make any spoilers, but to understand people, we need to "fit in their shoes" as much as possible... and one of the biggest issues with doing that is if there is a big generation gap between us... Speaking of that, I just remembered one English lesson (my 2nd language) that had the same title: "Generation gap", and was talking about "no understanding" between parents and children...
It's the fact that it's easier to make relationships when we are younger, especially kids, but also, there is another curious thing that I noticed... Even in my mid-age (if I can call that my age 😃), when I meet new people, I "click" much easier with those who are at the same age as me...
Also, this video served me well to understand myself better, which sounds a bit odd, but I suppose some of you can relate to... We do know ourselves better than anyone else, but sometimes, we do things "by muscle memory", and even we can't explain why we did something! It could sound like an excuse, but it's good to know how (and why) we got here where we are in this very moment... Similar to my chain of events that led to this post, our lives had numerous events that made us what we are...
Understanding ourselves is the only way we can grow and improve ourselves, but also, it's the way we can better understand others...
PS. I hope I didn't go too much off-topic from the community guidelines... Don't forget to check out the YouTube channel I shared! https://www.youtube.com/@mrpsychologytalks001
Thank you for your time.
--ph--
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