I haven't seen the way out. Shadows from the past always confront me every time I try to take a step. I have been searching for a light to find the way out, but I always end up getting lost. I can't even remember how to go back.
I got afraid to look back and learn from my mistakes. What am I talking; I don't have to because they keep on bugging me. Is it a sin to have an unpleasant past? I am not a dangerous person. I'm just unfortunate to wake up in this world.
Am I rejecting the world now? Or the world has already rejected me? This path I'm taking is not my option. I don't have a choice. Everything is clouded, and I can't see clearly. I can't think clearly. I am confused, but I have to go on because days are passing.
I can feel how time goes by. I'm not getting young, nor do I have the strength to carry on for decades. And yet I still have the biggest labyrinth to solve. I haven't seen the finish line, but I'm already getting tired. I'm getting sick of trials and errors, that I have to go back and forth to see which possibility is correct.
I'm not special, a reason why am I rewarded with such struggles. I was too lucky to know pain from the very start. How could fate be crueler? Can't I change my destiny? Maybe I could because everyone says nothing is impossible. Can't I?
Sometimes I get stuck staring far away when I feel like giving up. I'm reflecting on everything that happened and is happening in my life. And I'm thinking, "what if?" Though it's useless to ask anymore, I wanted to know what if?
What if I already found the right direction, but I have yet to realize it? What if I was born different from who I am? What if I was born in a different world, would everything be different? What if I have a choice to change my life?
"Difficult roads often lead to beautiful places." - Anon
Do you believe that difficult roads often lead to beautiful places? If what we have is not what we wanted, do we have the power to change our destiny?
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