You completely suffocate me.
What do you mean?
I cannot even go into the shower without you having to find at least 6 things to talk about. You always message me while I am with my friends, and you ask when I will arrive at home. There is constantly an emergency for that I have to go home and fix. I simply feel like I cannot breathe!
I only want to be together with you. Is this thing so horrible? No...But we need a little personal space, because there are times, when we are too much to each other.
Is this conversation sounds familiar? If yes, then this Hive article is for you.
A few words on personal space
Personal space is a needed thing, not a luxury. Being with your partner is a great thing, but neither of you may feel the need to be completely be together all the time. The key to create a happy and balanced relationship is to understand why the personal space is important. I mention 7 reasons to create the personal space in your relationship, which will help you to reach the balance both of you desire.
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1 - Our individuality is important in the aspect of our happiness
It does not matter how similar are you to your father, mother, or to your grand brother, who lives far away, you are an individual. Being an individual and "doing your own thing" means that you are a happier and more complete person.
2 - Being together constantly is suffocating the relationship
Everyone need time to spend with themselves, and also to be themselves. We usually try to "be more", when our partner is also present. While this seems to be good, too much time spent together, without having outside interests and desires could be a kiss of death in a relationship. Keeping the spark in romance means that we do not strangle it by spending too much time together.
3 - The personal space is required to be yourself
The skill to live for your own interests is a good method to create a stronger self-esteem, which leads to discover your desires and dreams. This is important, because it helps the trust and communication between partners.
4 - Too many good things are bad things
It is not healthy, if we spend too much time together. If you always worry if you (or your partner) want to say aomething awkward/embarrassing/uncomfortable to your friends or to someone else, it is a certain sign that you spend too much time together. Another warning sign is the feeling that you cannot trust your partner, if you are not together for a hour. This may be the sign of a partner dependent relationship, and such relationships may quickly turn to be toxic.
5 - It is healthy to take a little break from the relationship
You did not completely changed, when you discovered your partner. No matter how much you love your current self, you owe yourself to be yourself also now. The biggest what we may make in a relationship is to define yourself exclusively by the aspect of the relationship. Do not forget that your parents named you, but mostly you turned yourself into who and what you are. Respect yourself to keep your own identity in your relationship.
6 - By your individuality, you will be stronger couple
Our own interests and the friends are playing an important role to strengthen the relationship. While both of you arrive home to be with each other, both of you have to care for your own lives over your relationship and also inside of it. If you are always together, then what will be the topic of your discussions? Of course you can play the "do you remember?" game, but it will quickly go into failure.
It is much more entertaining to your partner telling the things he/she have done today, and tell him/her what did you do. This keeps the communication open, makes a more loveful and more private relationship.
7 - Do not forget that everyone is different
You do not have to enjoy and love the same things what your partner does. Actually, if you try to force yourself to do this, you betray your own personality. Do not fear to speak with your partner, if you do not have the mood to do something. For example if you do not have the mood to meet friends after an exhausting week to have a beer and talk, because you would rather desire a hot bath or you would go to have a massage, then tell it your partner. Of course give him/her the choice to go without you. This is a rational and mature method to match two interests, which does not fit together, so both of you get what each of you wants.
Owning a personal space is the key to have a successful relationship, the lack of this however are able to destroy a relationship faster than anything. Do not forget to give space both to yourself and also to your partner, to be yourselves, even without each other.
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Thank you for reading.
Have a nice day. All the best.