Bonkers for a minute

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.

- Epictetus -

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Getting to the best wilderness places, views, camping spots and a long way from other people usually means needing a four wheel drive vehicle. It gives the ability to take roads less travelled and get off the blacktop and onto tracks where regular vehicles can't go. I've been doing this very thing for many years and have found amazing places and experiences.

Off-roading isn't something a person learns overnight though and a lot of equipment is required over and above the actual vehicle; buying and setting up a capable off-road vehicle and getting the additional equipment and camping gear here in Australia is very costly which is why one builds up to it. Once set up though, one can take off to find all those amazing places and enjoy the benefits of off-roading, not least of which is getting to places most cannot.

Sometimes though, it can be dangerous taking single-vehicle trips. Getting into trouble in the middle of nowhere is not something anyone wants to do but it's often better-handled if there's others around through pooling skills and equipment. Camping in groups can be enjoyable sometimes too I guess, although I don't prefer it. However, with safety in mind and the plan to do some more adventurous trips to very remote and rugged areas, I went bonkers.

Bonkersness

In a moment of extreme bonkersness I decided to join a four wheel drive club.

Bonkersness is not a word, well...it wasn't until I just made it up so feel free to use it. Seriously though, I decided to join a four wheel drive club with the intention of having safety in numbers should I drive myself into trouble on a more full-on and remote trip and I thought it might be a good way to meet like-minded people.

Oh boy was I wrong!

I approached them by email then phone and was told to come to their monthly meeting and that they were all friendly and welcoming. Hmm ok, seems fair. My girl-person and I went along and...nope, no fucking welcoming or friendly fuckers in sight. We persisted though, and mingled a little. She was way more popular than I was, tall, blonde, boobs, tight jeans...I get it. Fuckers.

At the end of the evening we took an application form and said we'd talk about it then revert.

That's when we were told it would be evaluated and that we'd need to attend an evaluation day. What the bloody fuck? #WTBF Those assholes had been evaluating my girl-person for three fucken hours already! We discussed it between ourselves over the next couple days and decided there was no harm in proceeding a little further.

Evaluation

We attended the evaluation day, an afternoon tea, held with some core members of the club and a couple other prospective cult members looking to join at which each of us had to explain our off-road experiences and talk about our vehicles. Hmm, fair enough, I'd not want super-newbies with shit vehicles in my club either.

The other two couples explained themselves in about five minutes listing a couple trips and a handful of accessories on their 4x4's. I talked about our past trips for about fifteen minutes (they're extensive) and was about fifteen minutes into my (heavily modified and accessorised) vehicle when they figured they'd heard enough. I was only about half way through.

We ate scones and drank tea and were asked to come to their next club meeting for further evaluation. For fuck sake, I'm joining a four wheel drive club here, not fucking Interpol!

It was about then I started having reservations and realised I'd gone full fucken bonkers with my thoughts of joining a four wheel drive club. They say, never go full bonkers...I should have listened.

At the next meeting we were told our membership application had progressed to the next stage...The next stage? Jesus fucken Christ what now?

We were told that we'd have to take three trips with the group, one of which was an overnighter, to assess my vehicle and skills. My vehicle at the time was a $100,000 beast of a 4x4 with just about every system and accessory money could buy and my skills...after almost twenty five years of off-roading, were legit. But here I was, being treated like a total newbie idiot. Anyway, after that trip we would need to take two more longer trips and depending on the results of those our membership would be activated or denied. Wankers.

Unbonkerising

As we drove home that night we decided that we'd gone stark raving bonkers for a minute and that it was time to unbonkerise ourselves. We decided not to return to that club, or any other.

We'd actually hoped to find a group of like-minded people but had found a group of nutbags.

I get it, they wanted to maintain the integrity and feel of their club, as is their right, and I don't begrudge them that, but the way it rolled out wasn't very cool. In truth though, they did us a favour as going away with people like that would have driven me nuts and someone might have gotten themselves killed. (I don't mean me here, I mean one or more of them.) The process taught us a valuable lesson.

Most of my off-road trips have been single-vehicle adventures, just my vehicle. Some have been in convoy though, but only with people we know. That's rare though, I off-road to get away from people and having them tag along is counter-productive to that need.

Not being in convoy brings greater risk to off-roading. Sure, I can winch myself out of a creek, sand or bog but it's not always possible. Sure, I have a degree of mechanical understanding, but having others there can prove advantageous when things go really wrong. It's the same when it comes to other aspects like navigation, first aid, mechanical and emergency situations. I'm generally well-prepared for them though, am confident in my skills and abilities and certainly have the equipment to do what I need to do. There's comfort in numbers, but there's adventure without.