The no play day

I went culling earlier this week and found success through effort; that means I killed things. For those who don't know I perform culling duties on a cattle farm which equates to animal control using a firearm in this case. It's a regulated activity and I'm the only shooter permitted to perform the activity upon the property - I'm registered on the government-issued culling permit the property owner holds. I take it very seriously - killing is a serious matter.

I've taken a lot of lives over the years and whilst I've done it efficiently and effectively I've never become used to it; well, maybe that's not quite true. I'm used to killing, accustomed to it, it's just that I've never become comfortable with the act of it. I don't enjoy it and take no real pleasure in taking a life.

These days I tend not to work too hard at finding targets; if they present themselves and I can safely make the shot I'll take it - I'm just not so inclined to work very hard for the targets. One doesn't sneak up on a kangaroo so there's some effort involved to get into the right situation to make shots. Don't tell the property owner I said though, he'd be upset with me if he thought I was out there not operating.

That phrase above, success depends on effort, is so completely true though and with my casual effort comes less success - Less killings. I'm ok with it and when I go culling, sometimes twice a week, I usually take a book and do as much reading as I do culling - More, in truth. I'll look up now and then, glass the area [with binoculars] and if there's a target I'll get to work...Otherwise I sit in the middle of this stunning property with nature, the birds and all, and read whilst munching on some trail mix; nut's and dried fruit, biltong and other such scrummy things.

My last session was all work though as it seems there was a kangaroo convention taking place on the property.

Every time I laid back in the grass to read I'd hear noises, boundary fence wires rattling as a couple kangaroos hopped over or came through it. They'd find a nice little spot and crop the lush grasses...And I had to go to work. Sometimes they'd hop over from some other part of the property and set up down the hill from me...I'm not sure what the convention was about but it was well attended; I didn't get much reading done.

Each time I took one I felt that familiar feeling of loss. Its buddies would either attempt to flee or sometimes even just stand there and...Well, fleeing is a wise choice I guess and part of the point of me shooting - Take a few and the rest bugger off. I'd have to operate again if they stayed and the convention-attendees would be one less less each time.

I usually take twenty rounds when I'm out culling, ample for a night out as I might only shoot two or three, but this particular night I needed to send almost all of them down range at targets and I don't miss.

Killing is not something most people are comfortable with; it's easier for people to forget that to have animal products in any form like food or animal-sourced items the animal generally has to die. Sometimes pests are eradicated also, it's part of the process. It's handy for people to block that out though and proceed to consume animal products ignoring the reality of it. I was thinking the other night what people would make of what I do out there, how they would react seeing what the shooter sees through the scope, the impact and resulting events immediately after. Probably most people wouldn't handle it well...Preferring instead to ignore it and simply tuck into that thick juicy steak, roast chicken or seafood delight that materialised in front of them. I wonder if they'd do the killing for themselves though.

I don't think I'll ever get used to killing and in truth I don't want to. Will I continue to do it? Sure, until I don't want to do so anymore of course. Maybe my effort will dwindle to nothing and my success will follow or maybe I'll just call and end to it and simply not go anymore; who knows? I know I won't begin to enjoy it though; I'm not that guy.

For now I go because I have sole access to this amazing property and I value that time away from society, the ability to know I'm the only one there and to connect with nature in that solitary way; it's really a beautiful property, creeks, a small pond and loads of rolling hills. Some days it's play, simple relaxation, and some days it all work...A bit like life I guess.