I am a warrior Mom!
Good evening fellow (hivers or whatever you call the Hive community)!
Warrior Mom, Super Mom, Tiger Mom. These are titles that many parents especially single mothers proudly claim although there are sectors not comfortable about these. For me, these terms are one and the same, but ask my children how they see me, and they’d tell you I am a tiger mom! Roooooaaaaarrr!!!
Those who approve of being called a warrior mom are fighting for their children’s right to exist and to have a good life, while those who are negative about it are fighting to fix what is wrong with their children.
Whether one is proud or embarrassed of being called a warrior, super or tiger mom, the reality is, motherhood is a fight!
All mothers-married, widowed, separated, annulled--- are waging a war against so many issues---relationships, finances, childcare, name it!
I am a single mom and as such I can attest how hard it is to give any child a good life. Filling in 2 roles with only 1 body, I must go beyond and above.
I was on the front line of this fight called motherhood at the age of 21. When i was widowed, I did not know anything except that I was left with a responsibility. It did not even come to my mind if I was capable of being a mom. When I became the headline of all tv stations and newspapers because of an unverified story, I was at war with the judgment of strangers and blood relatives against the death of my husband and later, against me not remarrying yet having another child.
In the middle of this battle, I was expected to do other roles therefore I was not able to focus on myself. I forgot about my mental health and emotions; I forgot about healing. I shut down my voice and was left powerless for almost 2 decades. I listened to the dictates and fit in with standards then got lost.
So fast forward to 2019, I decided to be alone and wanted to find time for myself. That was not a joke! I knew the first reaction of others would be “How about your children??? Who will take care of them?” This hurts me every time because it delivers me a message that I should not think of myself anymore. I braved replying that my children will be okay. Truth is, I have already talked to them and asked for their understanding that I needed reboot.
Everything was a matter of planning, goal setting and managing time wisely. So, I made a routine to balance my time for myself and my children making sure our relationship gets stronger and that we realize the value of each other.
This was somehow a turning point in my life because it was the first time I decided for the 3 of us trusting my innate wisdom and intuition. It was one of the best things i have done for me---- self-discovery!
Afterwards, many more major things happened but if there was anything I am truly happy about that is, I am no longer pressured to validate and listen to others. I now have found and learned to listen to my voice. I have discovered myself.
To the majority who I have pleased for so long this is an act of rebellion. If forgetting about others yet healing oneself is an act of rebellion, so be it!
Motherhood is a process of becoming. Mothers are naturally nurturing, teaching and guiding but ultimately, we still need to discover our authentic selves.
To all mothers who have gone through the same fight, congratulations!
To mothers who are still in the middle of their fights, go find yourselves and never think it is a selfish act. You will see how your children will look up to you and be inspired once you value yourself.
To all women who plan to be mothers, think a million times if you are willing to lose yourselves first before you finally become your authentic selves and be satisfied. Goodluck!