Reflexive emotions are mostly reactive and involuntary; they occur because the person under consideration is not aware of his/her capability.
When he/she becomes aware of its capability his/her response will turn voluntary and might also be motivated by rational theory on how to respond to a situation under consideration.
Put simply, voluntary responses will be mindful and purposeful.
Forbearance is not just about overt tolerance, it's also about acceptance in your inner core, it's true that not all the time is our overt tolerance commensurate with inner acceptance due to different belief systems, values, and cultures. But over a period of time culture and thought processes also change and undergo upgradation in social consciousness. That is where scientific temper, faculty of reason, etc have a greater role to play.
When someone is attacking vociferously, and filthily, it's quite natural to have reflexive reactions. But the situational awareness and experiences can help an individual to override the temptation to react.
It's not like winners are only those who counteract effectively, it also includes those who chose non-response. The motivation behind non-response to a violent situation and toxic discourse or allegations could be different. From a business perspective it could be a strategic one whereas, on an individual level, it could be to get rid of temporary noise by staying silent and choosing non-response.
Forbearance is the real strength of the society that subsides the temporary noise and helps us to pay heed to a broader social context and its outcomes, it is not motivated by proximal outcomes, but rather more interested in systemic considerations of the society at large.
Forbearance consolidates a society. It preserves the existing norms, yet also creates room for desired changes as long as that is warranted by reason-- a key driver of social consciousness.
Forbearance helps individuals in a society to reap transaction benefits among the members in a social context, it creates opportunity, it stimulates the thought process, and it goes for that re-alignment(aka evolution).
Forbearance is not a badge of burden as long as it is trying to align with acceptance at the inner core. Overt and outer tolerance have a limited shelf life. Therefore even though a given situation commands tolerance on an immediate basis, in the long run, it must find acceptance otherwise it will be reduced to a pressure cooker where the whistle will anyhow blow off when it no longer becomes able to manage the pressure.
When a response is informed by awareness, and capability is informed by credibility, it gives rise to mindful and purposeful choice. Such a choice is nothing but the manifestation of forbearance.
Forbearance is more comprehensive than tolerance because it offers a continuum from tolerance to acceptance; thus providing a solid footing for society to co-exist. Forbearance is a proxy for a healthy society.
Thank you.
ššš
Infographic created by me using Canva.