I guess it's normal to carry pains with us. But I realized that pain tends to teach us stuff we might otherwise never learn. Not about holding on to the hurt, but about holding on to the lesson that came with it.
When anything goes wrong, it's easy to let it consume you. I've been there. But if you think deeply about it, every setback is an opportunity to learn. Next time, maybe you'll be more careful or have understood people better. There's always something valuable hidden in the experience.
I don't think we need to forget the bad stuff. It doesn't seem to work to try and rub it out. I try and see what it has taught me. It's like a map, isn't it? The bumps on the road show you where not to go again. Without them, you might just keep making the same mistakes.
What I find interesting is how these lessons can shape us. Sometimes, the very hardest of experiences bring out strengths one didn't know they had. It's the discovering parts of yourself before hidden, and that is something which I really appreciate.
I also feel that the process of remembering what hurt us helps connect with others. When you have gone through something rough, you can understand others who are going through similar things. It makes you more emphatic, human. And that is something we all need a bit more of.
Ultimately, it's not about getting stuck in the past; it's about using your past to build a better future. I always try to remind myself of that whenever I'm faced with something hard. It won't take the pain away, at least giving it a purpose. And I guess that's quite a good way to move forward.