England. Green fields, beautiful landscapes and... A lot of people who apparently don't want to share their treasures. When my boat reached shore, I felt like a conqueror. My Viking team looked threatening, the village in front of me was quiet, and I, Fabian, knew I was about to do something stupid.
The plan was simple: set fire to a few roofs, seize the gold and return to the ship. What can go wrong? It turns out that everything.
The first minutes on the English land are exploration. The village in front of me looked like a perfect place for a raid – small huts, lazily walking villagers, no guards. Well, almost. When I went to the first chest to get the gold, the screen said, "You need a key."
–Key?! I exclaimed, as if the game could hear me. "I'm a Viking, not a locksmith!"
So I decided not to look for any keys. Instead, I burst into the hut, smashed the door and... I found that there was nothing behind them, except for a few pots.
"Great, Fabian. Great," I said to myself, watching Eivor stand among the rubble he had created.
The first serious fight – "The Axe Speaks for Me"
Less than five minutes had passed, and the village realized that something was wrong. The guards began to run towards me, and instead of running away, I rushed at them with an axe in my hand.
"It's time to fight!" I shouted, even though I was sitting alone in the room.
The first opponent was easy – one blow with an axe and it was over. The second one tried to attack me from behind, but I made an effective dodge and... By chance, I bumped into a powder keg. Of course, the barrel exploded and I landed a few meters away.
"Fabian, you genius," I muttered as I saw Eivor barely get up from the ground.
Fortunately, the Vikings are tough. Eivor brushed himself off as if the barrel explosion was part of his daily routine and returned to the fight. A few more blows, one spectacular finisher, and the guards were lying on the ground.
When I finally captured the village, it was time for what the Vikings do best – arson. The game encourages you to do this by giving you torches and lots of wooden roofs just waiting to burst into flames.
I threw the first torch on the roof and watched with satisfaction as the fire spread to other buildings. Problem? The Vikings, my faithful companions, stood too close.
– Hey, why are they also burning?! I shouted as I saw my comrades start screaming and running around in panic.
It turns out that the torch does not distinguish between friends and enemies. I had to quickly figure out how to save them before we all ended up as a pile of ashes.
When the fire finally calmed down, I was able to search the village in peace. Chests of gold, valuables, and even some ancient artifacts – all of them ended up on my ship. But it was not without adventures.
Trying to get to one of the larger chests, I had to go through what looked like a small swamp. Problem? The swamp turned out to be deeper than I thought. Eivor got stuck in the mud and I panicked, pressing all the buttons on the pad in hopes that something would work.
"Not now, mud, not now!" I said, watching Eivor sink slowly.
Fortunately, I managed to get out, but not without losses – my beautiful coat now looked like something that had been pulled out of the river after a week.
After the end of the rally, I decided to return to the ship and sail on. My Vikings started singing, which was a nice touch after all the chaos.
"Well done, team. Now it's time for another village," I said, feeling like a real commander.
But before I reached my next destination, I noticed something on the shore – a strange, lonely house. I stopped the boat and decided to investigate it.
Inside I found... Goat. Yes, only a goat. She looked at me with a look on her face that said, "What are you doing here?"
–Seriously? I said, leaving the hut with a sense of slight disappointment.
England doesn't like me, but I love it
After all, I can confidently say that England is a place full of surprises – and problems. Every rally is a new challenge, every fight is an opportunity to blow something up, and every decision I make ends either in triumph or a total disaster.
And what next? Next post is more battles, more exploration and... More bugs that will probably end up exploding again. After all, as the Vikings say, "If it works, why not burn it?"