Hi all...here's another peek at the pages of my sketchbook. I posted the first two parts in these posts:
- Mindless Self-Indulgence: Sketches & Thoughts | Pages From My Sketchbook.
- Mindless Self-Indulgence: Sketches & Thoughts On NFTs | Pages From My Sketchbook
My Random Thoughts On Relationship
It's another tiring day for me today. I attempted to write this post in the afternoon, but I was too sleepy to continue, and my brain was foggy. So I quit, and right after tutoring my kids, I took a half-hour nap. I felt refreshed after the rest, but then I got caught up with housework and preparation for dinner. So again, this post was left again unwritten. I longed for a stretch of uninterrupted time to focus on writing, but such time was nonexistent. This is especially true if you are married with a family and other adult obligations. Sometimes I had wishful thinking of my youth when life was simple, and the biggest problem and responsibility I had in life was how to excel in my studies. But those times were long gone. Anyway, back to the sketches! The sketches I included in this post are all about the relationship between a man and a woman. Since I am married and have been married for the past 16 years, this is perhaps one topic I have expertise on, at least to a certain degree. All the things I wrote here are just my views based on experiences. You might disagree with what I said, and that's perfectly okay. We are all entitled to our own opinions.
Five Pages From My Sketchbook
Flaws. We all have them. Some are obvious, some are more hidden. But marriage magnified our weaknesses more than any other relationship. We tend to overlook our partner's weaknesses in the early stages of the relationship. Perhaps we thought love would conquer all, even the worst flaws. When we were infatuated, we made excuses for every single unpleasant thing. But news flash, infatuation only lasts between 18 months and three years. The first 3 years of marriage may feel blissful, but feelings will slowly change. Trust me on this. That snore you thought was cute would sound more like a jet plane. And that's when you seriously think of having a separate bedroom.
As the years roll by, you tend to not feel much in marriage. This was especially true when the kids started to come. Your daily routine gets busier, and it almost always revolves around the kids. I remember when my kids were babies. It was hard. Very hard. We lived far from our family, so we didn't have help. Parenting was and still is hands-on. I just wanted to survive those long days when the kids were sick. I was exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. My emotions felt raw, unprocessed. I barely had time to think or to reflect and rejuvenate. I was in a constant state of giving, and I was running dry. I was in the dark. Now the kids are older, things have improved tremendously. I wasn't as depressed or exhausted as I used to be. My advice to young married couples or those with very young children is to have open heart communications. Do it regularly. Express your needs, listen to your partner, don't judge or be condescending. Respect one another and try to fulfill your partner's needs. If the wife needs a break from the kids, give her a day off. Let her go out with her friends, away from the kids. And husbands, babysitting for a couple of hours will not kill you.
The courting stage! This was a fun stage full of exhilaration. You were head over heels in love and wanted to be together all the time. I remember that early stage of our relationship 23 years ago. We were very young (early 20s) and felt we could conquer the world, our plans would materialize, life would be breezy. How innocent and silly.
Ahhh....the not-so-fun part of any relationship. Conflicts. We were two fools who didn't want to back off, and every argument seemed to be a battle of wit and intelligence. Who could give the best reasoning and thus win this fight? This could be a very dramatic showdown with tantrums and tears in the early stage of the relationship. But not anymore. We would just respectfully (or not) give our thoughts and leave them on the table. It's up to us to decide what to do with them. As I grew older, I mastered the art of being calm in facing a conflict. I learned not to be a classless bitch and lash out mercilessly. Shrieking like a banshee unleashing hell on your partner would only escalate your issue with one another. Trust me on this.
This final sketch is not about marriage. Have you ever loved someone so passionately but you couldn't be together in the end? So many factors constantly pulled both of you in different directions. No matter how much you tried to make it work, it was just so impossible. Responsibilities and commitments in life were often the culprits. It's heartbreaking, and it can take years to recover from. The pain is so deep, and your heart pines all the time for the one you couldn't have ðŸ˜
That's it for now. If you read this far, thank you. I appreciate it so much! Kindly give me a follow if you like my content. I mostly write about making art, life musing, and our mundane yet charming family life here in Klang Valley, Malaysia.
Thank you for visiting and reading my post. I hope you like it!
My First NFT Collection – Stencil 2017 – Is Now Available On OpenSea
