One of the things that you can count on when you are an expat living somewhere that the people back home consider to be "exotic" is that people think that for some reason you are going to be super-excited when anyone wants to come and visit. I don't mean to be a meanie, but I don't really feel that way.
For one thing, I really dislike being a tour guide and this is especially true here in Da Nang because unlike a lot of the other places I have lived I haven't really even bothered to go and see all the attractions that exist here. Part of this is because of the fact that I have lived in the tropics and the rainforest part of the world for over 20 years and these sorts of things no longer excite me. Let me tell you, as strange as it might sound to people that live in land-locked areas or countries, but once you have seen one aquamarine waterfront with the perfect flaky sand that everyone seems to love, you have seen them all.
yeah, it's nice, but there is also hundreds, perhaps thousands of beaches just like this in the world
I do not like to go and have lunch or dinner or drinks at these places either because not only does the view not mean anything to me anymore because I am desensitized to the entire thing, but I also am very aware of the fact that almost all of these places are tourist ripoff spots and every bite that I take tastes like overpriced ash because I am aware of the fact that we are being charged double to 5x as much as what we are having is actually worth.
Recently, and still going on right now, I have some friends that are visiting Da Nang and I don't know if they expected me to be spending every damn minute of every day with them but that is not how it has been. I didn't mislead them or anything and I didn't invite them here either. They just told me they were coming and I was like "great! We'll have to get together while you are here." They seem to have interpreted this as me having a daily itinerary for activities and all meals or something because they are contacting me daily asking me "what do you want to do today?"
I had to kind of be straight up with them and tell them that they need to go and find their own activities because I have a job and a dog and other such obligations and am not on vacation like they are. I don't think they took this very well but seriously, am I being an asshole here? I don't think I am.
Here is something that if you are not aware of it you should be. Just because someone lives in proximity to a certain exotic place does not mean that they are interested in spending all of their time at the things that they can see, quite literally, any time they feel like it. The people you are visiting have a life just like you do back in your own home city and it is completely unreasonable for you to think that they are just going to drop everything and cater to your whims.
To make matters even worse with this couple that is visiting Da Nang, we have grown apart. We no longer have anything in common anymore and once we reminisced about the "good ol' days" and talked about all of that we kind of reach an impasse and now there is just an uncomfortable silence. This couple also doesn't seem to have a great deal of conversational capabilities because I will create small talk conversations such as "so buddy, the wife tells me that you spend a lot of time in the garden these days, what kind of stuff are you growing?"
I want to make this very clear: I honestly do not care what he is growing, I am just being polite and am trying to make conversation so that we don't just end up sitting in silence. But at the same time when I ask a question like this I am looking for a bit more of a response than "Oh, you know, vegetables and stuff."
After just 3 days of their 14 that they are spending here I am already finding myself kind of actively avoiding them, and leaving their messages unread until a time comes that I genuinely have free time. Then I will maybe go and have drinks with them.
When I go somewhere that someone else lives I don't really expect them to drop everything and spend all their time with me. IF you want to come to Da Nang then do so by all means, but this is not an all inclusive cruiseliner where I am going to have a list of activities for you to choose through as well as a bunch of different restaurants arranged before you arrive.
Maybe I am just not that great of a friend but I feel like it is really inconsiderate of them to turn up here with zero plan and then just look to me to entertain them.