I'm still here bro. I miss posting so much, it was and is a form of therapy for me. Since arriving here my family and I have been overwhelmed with the racism, isolation, and of course being paid less than half of legal minimum wage by my own family. My stepdad had a heart attack as we walked in the door back in June, 1st day in town. Since then we have been 24/7 caregivers, housecleaners, landscapers, and repair/maintenance workers. It's been 12 hour days for 6 months, and if I recall correctly, we have had a total of 4 social encounters.

One of these encounters resulted in an old highschool friend spreading rumors that I hate the USA and hate the American people. Since then I have been taking threats from racist rednecks, offering them my phone number and address just to end things more quickly with a 1980s style fistfight. So far nobody has taken me up on my offer despite being very manly Americans, but it's a not a good way for us to live.

I am still here, still on ASEAN Hive up to 6 hours a day just maintaining the community, but I now have about 8 less hours per day here than I did in Cambodia, where I was already staying awake until 2am trying to stay caught up with life and work. This whole immigration thing is a big regret because my family and former friends are uninterested, this country is broken and full of hate. Believe it or not, there is actually one racist guy here that doesn't know we only wanted to come here for a two week visit, but are forced to stay at least 6 months because of our stupid visa rules.

This guy offered to buy me a plane ticket back to Cambodia, so I told him my family and I would leave if he bought three more tickets and paid for cat freight and vet bills. He went silent after that and also refused any further offers for a fistfight. I guess what I'm trying to say is that my mental health has not been very good for the past few years. I have been lacking sleep for nearly 10 years because of this visa thing and now I look back and realize my productive years, my 30s, should've been spent earning and saving money for my family's future, but instead we gave it all to the USA, our house was lost because we weren't there to maintain the land during rainy season.

I am just in a really bad place in life and feel I only have depressing things to post about. It's tough because I want to share the kind of uplifting content I used post like recipes and cats, family stuff. I hope and pray for better days ahead.