This is a post about culture.It is not to compare with other cultures. With this post, I hope Asean Hive Community members can benefit from the principles and philosophy. For me, I can get feedback from other cultural points of view on how men are. Finally, I can learn from and benefit from other cultures.
Source :Indonesia-Malaysia
A man in Javanese culture
A man is the central decision maker in Javanese culture. A woman acts as the advisor to a family. The decision maker is a man. What are the crucial things that a man should consider when making decisions? Here are some matters that a man has the right to decide.
- Buying properties
A man decides when a family wants to buy a new house, a car, or expensive properties. - Marriage
A father will decide to accept his daughter, with whom she is going to get married. The daughter usually has her own choice, but she could not get married without her father's approval. - Other big deals that need a man to decide.
A father also often decides for his children what to study and where to work. However, more young people often refuse the father's intervention in this decision.
How big is the role of a man in Javanese culture. A man symbolizes success and becomes the consideration of social strata in the community. There are 5 general things that a man in Javanese culture is considered successful.
Wisma ( A house )
Pic : https://interiordesign.id/desain-rumah-minimalis-2-lantai/
One of the criteria of a man in Javanese culture is successful when he has a house. So do not be surprised, many Javanese men become migrants. They work hard to be able to buy a house. They leave in their hometown. They can work at a low level of employment.They will save the money to buy a house. In Jakarta, it is possible that half of all Javanese people live in the city.Many people say the Javanese are diligent and hardworking. This stereotype may be true because of the cultural demand that Javanese men must be able to buy a house to be considered successful. In a conversation among Javanese urbanites, the first question that they will ask " Where do you live? "Where is your house? " . It may be a silly question, but it has a great impact on the social status of a man.Garwa ( A wife)
Source : http://instagram.com/ade_imam,%20alvinphotography
As an urban man, I was very disturbed when I went home to my hometown. The first question that most people posed to me was, " Have you got married? When do you get married? Where is your future wife? " Those questions were very disturbing and made me stressed. I got married at the age of 30. It was too late in Javanese culture. The ideal age of marriage for a man is 25 to 27. However, the pressure of the community triggered my motivation to find the right spouse to get married. Finally, after hard work ( Searching everywhere LOL😁) I found my future wife. I did not get along too long with her. I told my future wife to marry her. I was not sure if the motivation was about love or not, but it was the first time I had gotten my status as a married man.
A man in Javanese culture who is married shows the capability to feed his family. He should have a job or income because most women in Javanese culture do not go to work. Though a woman has a job or has her own income, she still needs her husband to fulfill her needs in food, cosmetics, clothing and all things in family life.Turangga ( Vehicle in the past a horse)
Kuda Pacu Unair
A vehicle is a means of mobility. Besides that, it is a source of pride. It symbolizes success. After a man has a house and a wife or family, he has pride. A vehicle in the past was a horse. A horse is an expensive live stock. Today, a man who can afford to buy a car will have a pride. His social status will increase in the Javanese community. I don't really like this culture, but this is the reality. ( It may be because I haven't got a car yet, lol🤣).Curiga ( Weapon / Keris)
This is Keris Diponegore , Naga Siluman , The Javanese warrior who fought against Dutch Colonization in Java War
Keris is a traditional Javanese weapon. It has high artistic value, and some believe that it has mystical power. Keris is a symbol that a man should be able to protect his family and properties. In the Javanese Kingdom of Singasari. Ken Arok killed the King of Singasari, Tunggul Ametung. Ken Arok was a robber who dethroned the king, and took the queen as his wife. He killed the king, Tunggul Ametung, with Keris Empu Gandring. Ken Dedes was a beautiful princess. She was Tunggul Ametung's wife.
Keris Empu Gandring was cursed by the creator. The creator was Empu Gandring. The curse was that the keris would kill seven generations of the Ken Arok family. Then, Ken Arok was killed with keris Empu Gandring by Tunggul Ametung's son. The fight continued between Ken Arok and Tunggul Ametung 's descendants, who were from the same mother, Kend Dedes. The killing revenge between the decendants of Tunggul Ametung and Ken Arok halted after seven generations.
Here is one of the histories, why keris is a very important property in Java. Today, there have been changes. Keris has become rare. Empu or keris makers are only left few people today. Keris is worn in the costume of a wedding ceremony for a man. It is only a symbol that a man in Java should be able to protect his wife and family from physical threat.Kukila ( A bird)
burung perkutut dan orang jawa
Kukila or bird, is a symbol of prosperity. A man who can afford to look after a bird symbolizes his prosperity. He can afford to spend money on the third need. Looking after a bird needs cost and time. A man who has time to play with the bird, means that he has a lot of money and time to play out. He has fulfilled his basic needs for his family. Sometimes, one buys a bird for millions of IDR in Java or Indonesia.
My words
The cultures above change slowly because of the modernization and interaction between Javanese culture and other cultures. Being a successful Javanese man is not easy. Many men from Java could not comply with the standard. By learning the old culture and philosophy of our own ancestors, we can understand how people lived in the past. We can practice what the positive lessons and ignore the negative aspects that are not relevant in today's life.
Thanks for reading my post. I hope you can benefit from the culture lessons in this article. I would be very grateful if you could give me feedback and a comparison with your culture, so I can benefit from your traditions too.