To avoid panic attack occurrence, I distract myself with songs. You know it's like living in hell when your anxiety won't go away. I should have consulted a psychiatrist but then my salary has not been processed yet due to my negligence. Urgh! I hate myself for having this anxiety. This is the major reason why I'm not in my best state. I even stutter when I speak sometimes and this bothers me because my boss might think I am not capable of the position I am in. Ow, here I am again with my overthinking. Yeah, this is how crazy I am.

Just last night, I saw my baby's rashes and I over think of it as if it was a hand, foot and mouth disease. I panicked a little that's why I asked her pedia and sent her pictures of the rashes. Glad that she replied and just instructed us to buy a certain cream to be applied twice daily on Clea's rashes.

What a stressful life I have but anyway, I know I will get through all of these especially my anxiety.

I love listening to songs ever since I was a child. There are times when I listen to them to hurt myself more lol. There are also times when I listen to songs so I would be motivated enough to do the household chores. Sometimes, I also listen to songs because I like to reminisce the good memories I had with my recent ex. Well, I just missed us and my life before when I was with him and nothing more than that.

These days, the main reason why I listen to songs is because I want to fill my mind with other thoughts. I want this thought of me going to die to vanish. I'm legit tired of this! **Let me share to you the songs I am fond of listening these days.
**

Angel Baby by Troye Sivan

This was released 8 months ago and I loved it when I first hear it. I don't know why it became popular just these days though. I love this song because the lyrics just suit my little daughter, Clea. She's my angel baby who bring me to life when I almost died. I almost gave up in the word "forever" until she gave up heaven so we could be together. I'm sure some of you already heard this especially if you have TikTok app in your phone.

Strawberries and Cigarettes by Troye Sivan

Another one by Troye. I like this song because it has chill rhythm and the beat is to die for. Whenever I heard this, the memories of my happy past plays too. I remember my good old days with friends when we were just enjoying every night being wasted. I don't know but this song gave me that vibe.

I think these two should be all for today. I must focus on my clerical job or else I'll be in trouble again.

Hope you had a great day!