Either to accept it or not, I couldn't hide anymore that I am getting older and my strength is gradually changing. Before, I was not easily getting sick when the people around got seasonal common cold and flu. But, without overthinking of something in my life, I think I could be alright. I realized now that I need to sleep enough time to avoid sickness. It decreased strength of my immune system. It already happened and lesson to learned for me.
My sleeping mode during Ramadan was broken. Before , I managed to slept earlier and woke up midnight to prepare the food before the sunrise. But recently, I was awake and I got a little time. During the day, I was free to sleep from sunrise until noon but I wasn't doing good sleep during daytime.In the afternoon, I felt too sleepy but I force to be awake. After the sunset, it's the peak time for a lot of things to do. From noon to midnight a lot of things to fix. I was doing like this before and was normal during Ramadan but the issue and realization today that I am in my 50's and running senior citizen. I will be turning 55 this year. I am ready to die already . 50 years of existence is already a big bonus to myself. I started working at very young age of 6. Still until now, it's me doing same things. I know that it I die my family won't be hurt. They are already have the adjustment for a long time withouty presence as I am 27 years away with them. They will surely having easy adjustment living without me. I am hoping that God will give me time that we will be staying together before it happened and I hope that before retirement I need to have money that I can use and I don't want asking to anyone. I hope I could have money or if not, I better die earlier to have a final rest.Sorry for a kind of post today. It's maybe annoying but rest assure that I am still hoping the mercy of God to have a better design of my life one day soon. This is just a kind of my sentiment opening what I really feel deep inside my heart. God is the owner of my life and I humbly offer this back to him gracefully.
Gaining Strength After my Sickness
My boss bought one cartoon of orange and 2kilos of lemon. I didn't eat rice since I got sicked and consumed more fruits, water and Quaker oats. Feeling not satisfied without rice in one day but I forced myself to regain strength. They also bought yellow melon and I processed it with the blender and made it as my juice everytime I felt thirsty. It made me full and no hunger at all. I soften my plegm too and airways of my lungs is open. 1 big jar of melon juice I drank for how many hours only associated with boiled eggs and cucumber. Then I used water with fresh oregano leaves soaked on it. I wanted an earlier recovery🙏🙏🙏.
I made vegetables from moringa seeds.
I had hard boiled eggs with fresh milk too.
Drinkog orange , lemon and banana smoothie.
These are the healthy foods I usedto regained .my strength
. I did walking around the house and the rooftop. Now, I am feeling better.
That's all for now and have a great day. Thank you 
