To be honest, I knew that I am one of those stronger woman in this world. Since then, I been through a lot of pain, not just a pain but an unbearable pain that almost cut my life. I couldn't elaborate one by one but what would I want to say that my heart is too weaked when it comes to love. No regret from it because it made me stronger everyday. It made me changed. In every tears I shed I learned to pick the broken pieces of what I had been done. I been quite for a very long time, long years of longing someone to love me, to give hope to my hopeless life, to clothes me, to save me and to care for me . Those were things I wished but it never happened instead I am the one giving it. It is not only about a man or woman falling in love to each other but it is what it was and what it is today. It might be in family relationship of any kind of relations as a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend or lover.
Why Can't It be?
This is a big question in my heart and mind? Why? As if I am not allowed to be happy , I am not to be loved? Why? There are so many people who are bad but they are given attention. I am not comparing myself to other but I just feel sometimes the pain of being failure to all endeavor I had been trying. I am so sorry to write this. I want to express my feeling today and just to let it out to let my feeling free from the blue side of my life whom people never know. I am so good to my friends but for my oneself, I am so down deeper low beyond the ground. As if I am buried alive. Tears and pain but I force to smile to give hope to other. Please , just allow me to be honest to my self to tell you the truth what matters to my heart and mind. JusT the way it is , just in this way but promise it is just to myself knew the main root of what I had been through.
As time goes on, went by, it made me stronger. and instead of hatred to hate a certain individual or a certain things or a situation, I am here to say that I don't want troubles but here I am to say I always love you all. No matter what it takes,
I knew it is one kind of sacrifice and no one can judge me but I trust God to give me a stronger mindset and heart and to say goodbye to all those heartache, heartbreak, hurts and agony. You are the reason that made me stronger everyday.
Thank you and I am always be here and there everyone and hopefully it would be the best version of my life story.