'Do you know how to turtle roll?', she asks. She's cute, young, with a tattoo behind her ear. I'm a bit confused - what's she saying about turtles? I'm full of water as a huge set just came through and I got totally slammed.

I'm also trying to avoid her. I'm slightly embarrassed as to get through the biggest wave of the set, I chucked my board behind me and dived under. I wasn't having best week, I hadn't slept, and I was in the ocean for therapy - so I stupidly acting off instinct instead of doing what I know how to do - Eskimo roll.

Ah, that's what she is talking about.

A turtle roll is when you flip your longboard upside down with you underneath it, holding on to the rails and letting the water pass between you. In a crowded line up, only the kooks let their board fly behind them because it's dangerous - someone behind them might get hit. To my utter shame, I was the kook here - and she was behind me. Normally I'd look, or roll - but as I said, I was tired and just didn't think.

So when she pulled me up on it, my first reaction was to be an asshole and mutter something like: 'yes, but I didn't want to' and paddled off. What an utter dick.

You see, shit happens in the water, as it does on land. We make mistakes. We go through red lights when we aren't paying attention and sometimes we are lucky not to kill people. This doesn't make us or anyone else BAD people. Why I reacted like this, I don't know. It was just instinctual, defensive. Maybe I don't like being told what to do.

It was big out there - some six foot on the sets, and I sat for a while on the shoulder, safely watching it and waiting for a smaller set to take off on. I was quietly beating myself up for being the exact kind of idiot I hate out in the water. Needless to say, I turtle rolled though the next few sets.

Eventually, I womaned up and paddled over to her.

'Hey mate, so sorry for being a dick. I don't know what I got so defensive, just had a shitty week. I shouldn't have snapped at you - I was totally in the wrong'.

She looked at me and smiled. I was crying because apologies are not easy. We talked for ages about surfing, dangerous behavior, and our perception of big waves when this break wasn't as powerful as some. She took my apology graciously, which was nice of her.

I told her about my surfing injury and how the worst thing about that was that rather than taking responsibility for his actions, the guy paddled off and left me there. We talked about how aggro the line up can get and how to deal with it.

Everyone's going through shit, we agreed. We can't get mad at people, just compassionate. It was up to us, we agreed, to make the line up a better place. I'd done that by apologizing, she had done it by calming asking if I knew how to turtle roll.

The waves roll on, both at sea and on land. We can only do our best, and sometimes we fuck up.

I came in happy I had braved the bigger ocean. I'd put into practice something I truly believe in - if you behave like a twat, an apology and a conversation matters even if it's hard to own it.

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In other news, my favourite surfbreak, the one that has had too much sand in it to work much at all anymore, is on again. I surfed it yesterday on the SUP - freezing, rainy, perfect glass, long rides all the way from point to boat ramp. The rumour has it that it's still not breaking and those in the know aren't telling, though word will get out soon enough. Yesterday there was six out which was incredible as there was plenty to go around and no hassle. What an absolute BUZZ. I'm working today but that was a session to last me a few days.

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The surf cams are not loved around here. It makes for a crowded line up. There's one at this break. We are talking about ninja spray painting over it. It'll bring the cam down for weeks.

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All in all, it's been a great winter of waves after a long hiatus. Our wetsuits aren't drying out between surfs and most of us are getting a fair share of salt water. I've been swapping between the longboard and SUP and have been making headway with the longboard, getting to my feet a LOT faster. I'm not as intuitive riding it as I am the SUP but I'm doing it and that's what matters. No fancy cross stepping or hanging five, but that doesn't matter.

I'm just frothing, as they say around here - meaning you really love something and are excited about it.

Even turtle rolling is okay.

With Love,

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