Didn't you hear the preacher man? Y'all motherfuckers need Jesus! Hell, he even brought his trusty stepladder so's you know he's serious!
Few years back I was eating at one of those fine dining establishments where they ask for your name when you place your order and then they holler it out until you come fetch your food. To keep things simple I just told'em Jesus. Fucker asked how to spell it. What are they learning them in the Bible Belt these days?
It's all good though, the Very Reverend Colonel is legally authorized to officiate weddings in at least three states. The born again again types may sneer but the Commonwealth of Kentucky doesn't care.
I've married a couple folks but I ain't never been married. Asking for the government's blessing of my relationship seemed to make about as much sense as that sign there does.
Can you believe they told us we were going to hell?
I guess if it's a choice between that and Hotel California with the angry beards, I'm going Straight to Hell. Besides, I wouldn't want to miss the family reunion!
I'd like to close this Pride psychobilly sermon with a benediction.
May The Farce Be With You!