Hello Erikah, thank you for thinking of me and for your concern. I truly value it very much.

We are at a critical point.

Here where I live, in Havana, the electricity was restored about two hours ago. Other neighbourhoods in the city still haven’t had power since the disconnection yesterday at 6 pm. In Havana there are daily blackouts. For example, in my neighbourhood they usually cut it off at 3 or 4 in the afternoon and bring it back at 1 am or, sometimes, the following day. At that moment you have to rush to charge devices, fill the water tank, do the things that require electricity such as cooking, because there is no liquefied gas. And you have to leave everything as ready and resolved as possible because anything can happen, like the system disconnecting (it’s already happened twice in a week) and you’re left without electricity for many hours.

It is stressful.

Yesterday I arrived home and couldn’t heat my food, which luckily I had already prepared. Or yes, I could heat it, but I would have had to light wood or charcoal in the backyard, at night. Going out into the backyard in that darkness makes me a little fearful. I must safeguard my physical integrity above all. But look, let’s see, I have a backyard, I’m privileged… but what about those who live in flats? How do they light wood or charcoal in an apartment? I ate the food as it was. It was what was left from lunch, covered on top of the stove. I bathed and went to bed because when I looked at my mobile the network wasn’t available. In other words, I couldn’t even call my mother to know how they were. Only in the morning did I see one bar of coverage and learnt that they still didn’t have power, as they live in another province.

With these total disconnections of the National Power System things get ugly because when it shuts down you have no idea when they might get everything running again. The thermoelectric plants are old, discontinued, and now they are generating with Cuban crude which makes everything worse because for some reason it causes more breakdowns. In other provinces of the country people can go days before seeing the service “restored”. And I say “restored” in quotation marks because the blackouts are daily, lasting many hours. Some people say they go 22 hours without electricity and only get two hours a day.

I am very grateful because my family and I have some conditions in place, such as generators, rechargeable fans, lamps and those things that make life more bearable. My sister and cousins who live in the US have helped us. They are always keeping an eye on us. When the power goes off I read… or study or sleep or go cycling, I try not to think of anything that unsettles me. Although sometimes it is difficult, seeing the reality around: hungry people, dirty streets, overflowing rubbish bins on every corner, collapsing houses, people without hope with a lost look… On the other hand, I see that there are people trying to do the same as me, each with their own thing, with what they enjoy… People say Cubans have enormous resilience… but no, Erikah, human beings in general have it when it comes to survival. And there are people already protesting against the government. They have set fires in the streets, thrown stones at establishments, banged pots and pans… I don’t know… I lock myself in here at night.

So I try to live one day at a time and help whoever may need me. Emotionally I try to manage myself as best as possible, and I do it for my health, but also for the health of my loved ones, my family, to whom I continuously give encouragement because you need a very positive attitude to face this, otherwise you fall ill. And falling ill in this country would be the worst. There is no fuel, no electricity, everything is extremely expensive, sometimes unaffordable… so… think of the people who are caring for a patient, an elderly person, or a relative with a terminal illness… how do you think they are coping? Or people who don’t have enough money for anything, and have children, and children are always hungry… and what do they feed them? Because I can’t even explain the prices of things.

On the subject of fuel, there are people who can’t use their cars because they don’t have fuel, those who lived off the taxi business I don’t know what they are doing to support their families, because you no longer see taxis in the street. Now it’s electric tricycles that people somehow have bought even though they cost about 4,000 dollars… so they are working as taxis and charging exorbitantly of course. In my case, you know I ride a bike… or I refrain from going to places I can’t reach by bike because I prefer to spend that money on food (which is very expensive) rather than on transport. Think of all the things you can’t do in a country because of lack of fuel. I don’t know how farmers irrigate, how they transport their produce, everything becomes more expensive if you have to pay 4,000 to 6,000 CUP for one litre of petrol or gasoline (the exchange rate is 515 CUP per USD, so you can do the maths). My father told me the other day that taxi drivers are charging 150 USD for a trip from Candelaria, Artemisa (where they live) to the airport here in Havana. And that his sister-in-law who lives in Pinar del Río and his nephew paid 10,000 CUP to return from Bauta, near Havana, to Pilotos, in Pinar del Río, where I usually spend New Year’s Eve. I’m giving you context so you understand. That taxi driver who charged them that has a van that seats 15 people, and if each pays 5,000, how much does he make for the whole trip? Of course, it’s like that, because if petrol prices are impossible, he has to earn something for transporting people, which is his job.

There are so many things… that I don’t know how to explain them all. Schools closed, students receiving classes remotely, but if there is no electricity how do they receive them. Workplaces open one or two days a week and I don’t know what they are being paid, nor how those people survive. I suppose some receive help from abroad and others don’t… and of course there are those who have businesses, the Micro, small and medium-sized enterprise with its own legal status, where you find everything. Yes, here you find everything, people import all sorts and whatever they import they sell at impossible prices. This life I wouldn’t wish on anyone, especially because you don’t see alternatives, and because there is no hope… under this government there is none.

I will try to keep myself alive and as sane as possible.

Thank you, Erikah, thank you again.