No idea how I came up with that title but it is the work of an aetheist madman and genius, I do declare!
Wat Sr Iam (sister temple to Wat Wil Iam) is a temple especially dedicated to funerals and is one of a number of similar temples that service the 10 million population of Bangkok. We were in attendance on day 5 of 7 for the daily funeral service of one of Fon's great aunts whom I don't think I've ever actually met. Always a bonus when you don't know the person who died as it removes the emotion for the event! You still have to listen to an hour of monotonic, chanting monks that leaves you with the worse tinnitus imaginable and takes hours to quell, however.
"What are the actually saying?" I asked the wife, trying to feign some interest.
"How the fuck would I know?." She replied in her gentle, sing-song Thai accent. "It's in some form of sanskrit.).
We went on day 5 as the previous day was the day when the coffin is opened and with the body still covered, its arm and hand are wrenched from under the cover for the mourners to file past and pour a few drops of Buddhist holy water on it. The wife doesn't like that part of the procedings but it actually gave me a great idea for a 'candid camera' style game show involving replacing the body with a live person whose hand moves when it gets water dripped on it that I'm sure I could sell to Japanese TV,
I also had a thought as we arrived, that I could moonlight as a hearse with my new car but there isn't really a procession of the coffin here. The body goes from wherever it died, straight into a coffin and off to a temple in the back of a van and that's it.
The temple has 10 halls or rooms and can thus keep 10 funerals running concurrenty at a time but the place was still fairly quiet as our service was being held early evening due to a lot of the attendees travelling from far and wide. Not everyone has to show up on every day, thank god...or Buddha, except the lady's husband and kids. What an awful, prolonged affair it must be for them, but it is how it is. Family pride is at stake. The more days and more monks there are, the more respectful and prestigious its meant to be. Usual religious bollocks.
As we were there early, there was tea and coffee in the room and a few boxes of snacks to nibble as we loitered around, chatting to distant relatives as we waited for the chanting to start but we were really happy to see one of Fon's cousins turn up, and that could only mean one thing. At least the three of us were going for a few beers after the service! That would of course have to wait a little while longer, as is customary at weddings in the west and funerals in the east, we all had to line up for family photos in front of the coffin.
1-2-3 Smileeeeeeee
Ng-Song-Sam Yimmmmmmm
And then, it was finally time to go to a local bar for some proper 'refreshment'. Every cloud really does have a silver lining!
It is actually a quite well kept temple. Not one you'd visit as a tourist but for people visiting for a funeral it looked fine.
As you arrived, you could buy all manner of joss sticks and candles to light, as well as flowers and you just dropped the money into one of the honesty boxes scattered around the room.
Here is Buddha, surrounded by statues of some 'famous' dead monks which were shining as if they were wrapped in cellophane...which they actually could have been!
I'm not sure why Buddha looked as though he has a bowling ball in his hand or a shot put. I'll leave that to the conspiracy theorists to discuss.
We all had to stand in front of the flowers and coffin and have photos taken. The photographer even asked us to smile! Don't even try to work that out, TiT (This is Thailand!).