Mushoku Tensei deals with complex emotions like depression in a tasteful way, in my opinion. -- Another Mushoku Tensei set of comments I posted on videos online. See my first set here.
You're not Insensitive. You're normal.
This is a comment I posted on a reaction video for Mushoku Tensei episode 23. For context: That episode showed Rudeus Greyrat in his most depressive state so far in the anime.
The reactor said she didn't understand it, and didn't want to sound insensitive because she knows some people deal with these things.
You're not insensitive for thinking this way, you're just normal. But "just get up" only makes it worse. At least for people who've been there for a long time.
I understand Rudy's mentality he was stuck in. I've been there. Maybe the fact I'm still watching reaction videos means I still am there, even if I got better.
Anyway, when you're in that state you block any positive thought. (Even if Rudy was reminded of his helping of people, his brain will make up 100 reasons why that wasn't him.) In that state, dying doesn't seem so bad, "what's the point in living if I'm never gonna be a good person?" (Extra points if people around you say that too.) You only cling to life because it's more painful (and sinful) to kill yourself than waiting for a miracle to save you one day... People say you can save yourself, try harder, but the fact that you've been stuck there is a proof that it's not as easy as people make it sound.
That's why his first step at the end feels like a huge achievement. Especially for someone who's been there and is on the verge of recovery.
Obsessions with Roxy
That's also a reason why I think Rudy's obsession with Roxy a brilliant piece of writing... People like that need an excuse to block the positive thoughts with.
The fact that he wouldn't have gone outside without Roxy's help left a devastating imprint on his psyche. Now his depressive brain will always have the excuse ”I wouldn't be here without Roxy anyway” whenever it needed to block a positive thought.
This is why until he fully recovers, I would consider his obsession with Roxy unhealthy and toxic. How I love the realism in this story!
~ Thanks for Reading ~
- The image is from Mushoku Tensei episode 2. Taken from Google.