It's been 2 years since I lost my job because of Covid-19. Since then I have been faced with economic difficulties, and until now I still couldn't get any job yet.
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In the first year, I felt very difficult and tense, but now I feel like I'm used to dealing with this predicament, and slowly I have enjoyed it. Although sometimes I see my child still can't accept it. But I believe, if I continue to be patient and try, the day of victory will come to me. And pray that my family will be able to endure this hardship aswell.
There are many things that I have learned and learned, with the hope that what I am experiencing now can change me into a better person.
𝟏. 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐰.
With my current lowliness, my eyesight has become low too. Now I see something below, which I might have stepped on in the past because I always held my head up and looked up. Also now, my heart has become very sensitive to other people's difficulties, because I have felt how it feels when we are faced with difficulties in life.
𝟐. 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫.
Because of the insults, reproaches, being considered low, worthless, even invisible from all the things that I have experienced have made and shaped me into a stronger and stronger person. And I realized that, I am nothing without money and possessions. Strength, anger is all just ego, pride, arrogance driven from the power of money that I have at that time. And all of that has blown me away.
𝟑. 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦.
I have nothing now, so I don't need to worry about anything. No need to worry when on a trip, no need to worry about leaving the house for a long time, fear of theft. I don't need to worry about losing property, I don't need to worry about losing my position or job, I don't need to worry about the business going bankrupt and I don't need to worry about losing anything.
Sleep feels easier and more restful, the feeling of stress that I often feel and now, I never feel it again. Life is much calmer than before. In the past many times I wanted to go and live on a deserted island with no inhabitants just to find peace. But now, I no longer need it because I feel just fine.
𝟒. 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.
How I wasn't realize it, when I spend money on things that are not important like parties, drunkenness, buying things that are not important and end up in vain. Don't value money and think it's all small and trivial. In fact, the change are very valuable and many people work hard for it, hope and really need it and sometimes they couldn't even get it after the hard work. While at that time I had wasted it on useless things and now I feel how difficult it is to get the coins. Now I have understood, and have learned to respect others with the heart not with money and more can feel what they have felt.
𝟓. 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭.
Arrogant, ego, strong, weak, high, low, get up, fall insulted, humiliated, wasted, and been wasted, seen, nobody, sad, happy, complaining, grateful, appreciative and not expecting to be appreciated. So with that everything has become a provision for my life in carrying out life from today to the following days so that I become a much wiser human being and realize that everything we have is only temporary. Don't make wealth and throne a tool and turn us into someone we shouldn't be.
Experiences has been the best teacher in my life. I am grateful and I am very grateful for what I am facing and have right now.
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