Disclaimer: This post have no scientific basis. This is only mere observation and is based on personal experience.
I bet you encountered this word before. Are you one of those people? Did you overcome this one? Do you know anyone who like to please people before themselves?
Photo of Andy T on UNSPLASH
People-pleasing has been a norm. Society thought us that saying no is a bad thing. I worked in the service industry for many years and in my early days of training, saying "No" to a customer is considered horrible service. This attitude was also present in my daily life outside work. All along, I thought it's the only way to make people happy and at peace. Finding a way to satisfy their requests or commands will somehow make you feel you achieved something very significant. We always say "yes" or "I'll see what I can what I can do." even when times we already know the answer is "no".
If you work in any form of service industry you will understand what I mean. It is frustrating to say yes all the time because you need to and because you are getting paid to do so. Sometimes, we forgot to decide for ourselves. We act the same even outside work. We say yes to every invite, we say yes to every opportunity, we say yes to every request, we say yes to every question without even asking ourselves "What will I get from this?" or "Will this be able to serve me?" or "Will this be worth it?"
Most of the time, we unconsciously say yes to avoid trouble. We say yes because we are too afraid to be labeled as "difficult". We say yes because we have FOMO (fear of missing out). We say yes because we don't want drama. We say yes because we already created a negative scenario in our minds about what will happen if we say no. How about this, say NO. Stop pleasing everyone by saying yes all the time. It is about time for you to say no to them and yes to yourself. Stop doing things for everyone to like you because you don't even like everyone.
Ending your people-pleaser phase is a journey. It's not something you'll achieve overnight. Yes, you will lose people along the way. You will hurt people but you don't have to be sorry about it. Remember, you are doing it for yourself. You will surely find peace and you will get to know yourself even more. I would like to remind you that you are the master of your own choices. Choose something that you will be proud of.
Are you having trouble of saying NO? Let's keep the conversation going in the comments. My page is a safe place with no judgment and everyone is valid.
Asa Si Klause blogs about his travels, vegan lifestyle, yoga practice, his fur babies and anything that gives joy to him.
If you love to see more of his content, hit that Follow button, and you might find new places, make more recipes, and practice yoga with him. For blog collaborations or inquiries, feel free to contact him on his social media channels or email him at talabanklause@gmail.com