In every generation, we have stories of battles fought between nations and communities for territory, resources, religion, and any other stupid reason humans pick to kill each other. Out of all the battles fought in history, no battle has lasted longer than the inevitable battle between man and that beer baby bump that resides under his chest.
The question on every man's lips and one that has lasted through the ages is how do I get from where I am to where i want to be. It is a philosophical question that pervades eevryone's consciousness, and this particularly so for us tubs.
I've been consistent with my fitness in recent weeks because of my obvious lack of activity due to le Virus. I've also been very consistent with my "diet" and by consistent, I mean I've consistently not giving a shit about it. So the baby bump grows further because I'm eating way more than I'm burning.
Before you state the obvious solution, keep in mind that I'm a big guy and to maintain this body, I need a lot of food. Now I'm not making excuses for my situation or looking for sympathy, I'm actually just laying it out bare for anyone going through something similar.
There's also beer and I'm well aware of the fact that it is a major contributor to the situation, but without sounding too dramatic, let me add that I'd rather have my left leg cut off than stop drinking beer. It won't even be a tough decision, that damn leg has to go.
So back to the philosophical question; how do I get from Here?
To Here:
The only word in my mind is liposuction but fuck that, I'm not letting anybody cut me open to suck out fat. The second and most likely solution will be to visit a witch doctor with a spell that will turn me into a lean mean sexy machine that moistens the plains of the maidens with my physique. The third and very frustrating option is more exercise, less food, and alcohol.
Out of the three options, I think option 2 works fine for me, so I'll dedicate the next few weeks searching for an online witch doctor, preferably one that accepts crypto currency as payments for his voodoo.
