I was having a long-time issue with my lungs, they are always having fluid problems. The severity comes in stages from light gurgling sound to difficulty in breathing while doing and exertion to having a difficulty in breathing even while not doing anything.
That is why I had been making my nurses to take off as much fluids from my system during dialysis so that the fluids would get "pulled" out from my lungs. There is no other way and they could put maybe tubes unto my lungs via a catheter but of course I will not be approving it as it will only lead to infections and utmost discomfort.
Now I could not do anything anymore as I believe that I already achieved the point that I have no more extra fluids in my body after dialysis. In fact I would not be hearing gargling sound anymore when I breathe.
But those sounds return after I had drank a few liters or even more than a liter of fluids already. But at least now I am not getting a hard time in breathing, it is just it is bothersome if I would sleep and I would hear it which is why I needed some white noise to cover or mask it.
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The white noise is very important for me because of my ringing ear issue. The ringing ear issue could have many causes like my inner ear's bones, my brain itself, or the medications that I took or currently taking. So I can never really enjoy a peaceful environment because of my many bothersome health issues as mentioned.
So an electric fan is my friend, a companion that gives me a kind of therapy, like fighting fire with fire, a noise for a noise. It would be better if I haven't gotten all these rather a torturous medical condition but it is here and I have to deal with it.
Now I will just try to continue to manage my fluid intake and outtake so that I will feel much better in-between my dialysis session days because I do not want to revert back into that situation where my eyes are already popping out due to my difficulty in breathing.
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I am just thankful to God that at least I can walk two meters inside the bathroom with a guide rails that I can hold unto and can be able to bathe myself on my own, not having a lot of lingering pain, and still can be able to buy my daily medicines through my earnings online via this platform.
Nothing much that I could do really now but a damage control and being able to slow down the progression if not to stop my bone's disease processes. Lastly I just wanted to rest already, it has been quite a struggle with my life, I had been sick all my life and I am already defeated with all that fear of my future, where I will be picked-up or land or what my fate should be if this or that happens.
I am tired of working for a self-improvement plans and goals and dreams. I am just choosing to move forward because it is or me the right thing to do but it doesn't mean that I am ok with it because the time element is really being used up quickly and not much to enjoy there even if I would be able to reach my dreams.
This has been an interesting life but I haven't been able to enjoy it much, the frustrations that I got is so intense that I could not cry anymore. If you can just imagine my situation, what happened, and is currently happening you could just say I just be rather dead than to be subjected into this kind of life in a fish bowl and then dragging my lovedones with my misfortunes. May God help me.