Let me tell you something; I don't know how many sayings are as clichéd and unrealistic as the saying "one person's happiness should not be another person's unhappiness", but this is so unrealistic that it can take the first place. I don't think it reflects reality in any area of life.
Someone or some people's happiness has always been someone else's unhappiness and everyone knows that. Even though everyone knows it, it is occasionally said by everyone and we are reminded of it so that we don't forget. The intention is to keep people's behavior towards each other as positive as possible, perhaps subconsciously, or to provide motivation.
I don't know what the purpose is and I don't think anyone will ever know. It has become a traditional saying, a repetition of the phrase; it has become something that every generation from the past and every generation that takes its place in the future will repeat. Actually, I'm not looking for any ulterior motive in this, I'm just wondering what we achieve by constantly repeating a phrase that we know is not true.
Imagine, you are applying for a position at work or you need a new job. Dozens of other people apply for the same position or job, but you are selected and you are rightly happy about it. You are happy in an environment where dozens of other people are unhappy. I thought the happiness of one should not be the unhappiness of others!
Choose a sport where team spirit is prominent, watch or follow a match in your chosen sport. One will win, the other will lose. Those on the winning side are happy, those on the losing side are unhappy. I thought the happiness of one should not be the unhappiness of the other!
Imagine 20 students answering questions on the same exam paper, 10 of them are successful and therefore happy and the remaining 10 are unsuccessful and therefore unhappy. Even in this case, where success and failure are experienced in the same square, the concepts of happy and unhappy take their place and are used at the same time.
Can we say that the happiness of one should not be the unhappiness of the other? Of course we can because it has been said in the past, it is being said today and it will be said tomorrow. All we can say is that this statement definitely does not reflect reality. If we want what we say to reflect reality, we should not say it, but we will say it!
Just like the discourses of winning and losing, the discourses of happiness and unhappiness should be equal. Just as it is natural for one to win while the other loses, it is equally natural for one to be happy while the other is unhappy.
Have you ever heard it said that one should win while others should not lose? It is not said, because both have managed to make their presence felt.
Let's win together! Unfortunately, it is too contrary to the world we live in to be true.
Let's be happy together! Maybe in the fantasy world, but never in the real world!
Life is cruel and what makes it cruel are the people who evolve in thought and action. Even though the reality of being born and dying is in front of us in all its simplicity, we are not convinced that being happy and unhappy is part of the normal flow. I am sorry, but when I am happy, someone else will be unhappy, when I win, someone else will lose! There is no point in being fragile instead of knowing and accepting this reality.
This weekend, local elections in my country took place in a festival of democracy. Some won, some lost. While some were happy, others were unhappy for the same reasons. While following the results, I had the opportunity to experience and observe the opposite emotions of both sides. When I saw the happy one, I rejoiced with him, and when I saw the unhappy one, I felt sad.
Life, besides being really hard, seems strange and inconsistent to me. Perhaps, instead of looking for and seeing the unhappiness of others in the happiness of one, we should choose and practice rejoicing with the happy and feeling sad with the unhappy. In this way, happiness and unhappiness would be more shared and the burden would be as much as we can bear.
Thank you for being here and reading.