A chain of American family entertainment centers has been mandated by POTUS to remain open for birthday parties. During an interview with reporter Jessie Wisecrack of Apollyon’s Tribune, Donald J. Trump stated:
I truly believe that the happiness of our children is what matters most during this pandemic, they are our future.
Party in #america 🎉🎂🎈
If you were to drive by Mountaineer Blvd. in #wv today (April 21st, 2020), you would see the doors to Chuck E. Cheese wide open; not just for carry-out either. In fact Trump gave the establishment permission to have a maximum of 24 people in the building during a birthday party. This means no more than 20 guests can be there, as there will be 4 employees there to help with the party.
Although guests are only allowed inside for birthday parties, $5 boxes of pizza are still available for carry-out under thick protective plastic outside of the front door. 20 guests is not only the maximum, but also the minimum for a private party. So it is tough luck if your child does not have enough friends to host a full birthday party. This difficult decision was made to help balance the influx of requests for parties during this crisis.
Safe-zone for friends & families 🥳😷
Masks are said to be recommended, but not required just yet. The CEO of Chuck E. Cheese (Tom Leverton) had a long conversation with the President and they decided that:
It would be best to still be able to see the childrens' smiles while they are playing. It is very unlikely that any child will ever die from #covid-19, since it targets the elderly.
This means no grandparents invited. It is up to individual parents if they choose to embarrass their child by forcing them to be the only one wearing a mask during the birthday party.
The chain serves pizza, accompanied by arcade games, amusement rides, and animatronic displays as a cornerstone of family entertainment.
Kids need to have fun 🍕🕹️👾🎮
If the youth falls, then we have no future. Chuck E. Cheese has set a goal to have a birthday party at least once a day, every single day at all of their locations. Possibly on the table are huge discounts in areas with low party requests. This may be the perfect time to give your child the best birthday of their childhood.
Store hours currently from 11am-8pm, but the company is in discussion to possibly begin opening up as early as 8am soon.
Kid to kid transmission 👶🚸🧒
As long as social distancing is practiced at the party then each child should remain healthy. Hand sanitizer will be available at the front desk, but there is a two squirt maximum for each child each time they need a pump since supplies are running low. If your child is sick, please stay home. There is no down-payment required to reserve a time slot for your birthday party.
Good Luck America 🇺🇲
This article is satirical 😉🤣
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