Hello everyone,
Many people are aware of the importance of other people's opinions in their lives. They're sensitive to it and place a lot of value on it. It's normal - I went through this situation myself a few years ago. The gaze of others was very important to me, and that's why I've decided to share my experience in this article.
To illustrate my point, I'll tell you my personal story. Until a few years ago, I was very sensitive to the way others looked at me, and I attached a lot of importance to it. I lacked self-confidence, was full of doubts and constantly needed the approval of others to make decisions. I needed to feel reassured, listened to, loved and appreciated. At the time, I asked myself a simple question: “What can I do to make sure I'm loved and appreciated by others?”. The solution that seemed most obvious to me was to do what others expected of me. I told myself that if I met their expectations, they'd be happy, and in return, they'd appreciate and love me.
I applied this strategy for years, but unfortunately, the results didn't live up to my expectations. Sometimes people would tell me I was friendly and helpful, but that didn't satisfy me. I didn't feel valued or loved. There was always an emptiness inside me. What's more, there was a perverse effect to this strategy: the more I did my best to meet their expectations, the higher they became, and I felt unable to do enough. My self-confidence took a hit, and I felt even worse.
The key message I want to convey through this article is that by constantly putting others before yourself, you end up losing yourself. This is what happened to me at the age of 21. I went to see a therapist, and I remember the day she asked me a simple question: “What do YOU really want?”. I felt lost, because I didn't know. All I could think about were other people's expectations.
It was an electroshock and a realization. I understood that I had to reconnect with myself, discover who I was and what I wanted. The first step was to learn to listen to myself, to my needs, to pay attention to what made me feel good. That's what I encourage you to do too. When we constantly live according to others, we lose ourselves. And when we're lost, we try to fill the void by relying on others. We don't love ourselves, and we can't expect others to love us if we don't love ourselves.
My advice to you today is to take a small step toward yourself. Connect to your needs. Do the things that make you feel good, whether it's walking in nature, dancing, listening to music, wearing the clothes you love, doing the work you love ....
